Les Miserables
performs...?
In which the captress is mopey, the Mizzies are disturbed, and nothing is settled
Bramble: *peers in the room* Hello, everyone…
Mizzies: *look up irritably*
Bramble: *uncomfortable* What?
Javert: Have you decided to stop ignoring us now?
Bramble: Er…
Courfeyrac: Not that we MINDED being ignored, by any means--
Valjean: *glares*
Courfeyrac: *shuts up*
Javert: Nice glare, convict.
Valjean: Thank you.
Bramble: But…but…I haven’t been ignoring you guys THAT much!
Combeferre: Actually, you haven’t tried to write a story with us since last October, which was 6 months ago.
Bramble: I blame school and work.
Javert: *in a sing-song voice* What about this guy who was interested in you?
Marius: What? Who? For the captress?
Bramble: *has gone completely blank and unemotional* Note the past tense of ‘was’.
Marius: …oh.
Cosette: Oh, you poor thing!
Bramble: *still unemotional* Yeah. I’m sure.
Valjean: Er…you have our condolences, captress.
Bramble: Uh huh.
Javert: Might as well stop while you’re ahead, convict.
Bramble: Javert…
Javert: *looks expectantly*
Bramble: …shut it.
Javert: *mock bow* Of course, captress.
Bramble: So. The reason why I came here was to FORGET that, ‘kay?
Enjolras: *suspicious* Are you going to make us perform a play again?
Bramble: I don’t know yet.
Combeferre: You do realize that snarky aside comments will be required, yes?
Bramble: Of course.
*an uncomfortable silence*
Valjean: *whispered to Javert* She’s not fighting us on these issues…that can’t be good.
Javert: *whispered back* Duly noted.
Courfeyrac: So…um…what are we performing?
Bramble: Like I said, I don’t know yet. It’d be nice to do a movie instead of a play, I suppose. *drops off into silence*
Mizzies: *exchange glances*
Combeferre: Uh…do you have something for us to choose from?
Bramble: Yeah. Here’s a stack of movies, go have fun and decide. I’m going to go make a pot of tea. *mopes off towards kitchen*
Courfeyrac: *starts sifting through movies* Wow, there’s a pretty…uh…eclectic collection here.
Marius: *concerned* Should we be trying to cheer her up or something?
Javert: She goes through cycles—don’t worry, she’ll be all right.
Valjean: You’re around the captress the most, Inspector…how long has she been like this?
Javert: Couple of weeks.
Marius: And it’s just NOW that she’s come to us for distraction?
Javert: *shrug*
Valjean: You don’t seem too concerned, Javert.
Javert: Should I be?
Valjean: Well…she DOES talk to you more than any of the rest of us…didn’t she do anything that made you worried?
Javert: *shrug*
Bramble: *peers in suspiciously* What are you guys talking about?
Marius: Uh…that we’re a little worried about you, captress, and when we ask Javert what’s up he isn’t talking.
Bramble: Hey, Javert’s been more of a help than you guys realize…
Javert: *makes a ‘no I haven’t’ expression*
Valjean: How so, captress?
Bramble: He’s a good listener. And he offered to arrest the guy the evening of the breakup.
Mizzies: *send incredulous look at Javert*
Valjean: Really?
Javert: *defensively* What else was I supposed to do?
Marius: I didn’t know you had it in you to be so noble, Inspector.
Javert: All right, now that’s enough.
Bramble: I agree… *whistling sound from kitchen* There’s the kettle, be right back.
Courfeyrac: *looks up from movies* How in the world are we supposed to choose from these?
Combeferre: It’s simple, just list the ones that sound interesting and we can flip a coin to decide what to choose.
Courfeyrac: I’m going to need some help…
Javert: Oh, fine, let me see what you have.
*Sometime later*
Valjean: So it's a tie between 'The Emperor's New Groove' and one of the Horatio Hornblower movies?
Courfeyrac: I TOLD you it was a really eclectic collection.
Combeferre: How many of us have seen the Horatio Hornblower films?
*Javert raises hand; others look at each other uncomfortably*
Combeferre: Considering how much the captress complains about normal people not knowing what Hornblower is, it'd probably be better to go with the other movie--just for clarity's sake, of course.
Bramble: *toddles in holding a mug* What's for clarity's sake?
Combeferre: Not doing Hornblower.
Bramble: But why??
Combeferre: Because not many people know about it.
Bramble: ...as long as you're going in THAT train of thought not many people know about YOU guys in the canon sense. So hey, it'd be a double unknown feature! See? See??
Mizzies: *blank stare*
Valjean: That...doesn't make much sense.
Bramble: They never see...
Javert: I thought you were angsting, captress.
Bramble: I'm tired of angsting. It's time to do something fun. Something adventursome. Something spontaneous!! *strikes heroic pose and miraculously keeps tea from spilling*
*crickets; Mizzies look at one another*
Valjean: Uh--
Bramble: *drops dramatic pose* Sorry, I've been watching a lot of Phineas and Ferb lately. Give me a break.
Enjolras: Dare we ask what this 'Phineas and Ferb' is?
Javert: No. Don't ask. It's straaaange...
Bramble: All I can say is I watch it for the secret-agent platypus and the evil scientist.
Mizzies: ...
Javert: I told you it was strange.
Bramble: Hey, it caters to my brand of insanity. Don't bash it. *looks at movies* Ooh, what have we got here? *gasps* The Emperor's New Groove! Aahh, I love this movie!
Enjolras: *sigh* Let me guess, it caters to your brand of insanity?
Bramble: Exactly! I grew up on this movie!
Javert: That explains why you turned out the way you did.
Bramble: Eh, not really. Monty Python had a large role in developing my bizarre sense of humor too.
Enjolras: Dare we ask--
Javert: *clamps hand over Enjolras' mouth* DON'T. ASK.
Bramble: Oh wait, but you guys have Horatio Hornblower over here too... *whimpers with indecision*
Combeferre: We were just getting ready to decide which one to do when you showed up.
Bramble: Oh? And how were you going to do that?
Combeferre: Flipping a coin. *to Javert* A coin, please.
Javert: Why are you asking me?
Combeferre: Because it is a well-known fact that you carry random objects in your pockets. There ought to be a coin somewhere in there.
Javert: *hands over coin* You're just a little too character-savvy, four-eyes...
Combeferre: Thank you.
Bramble: Can I flip it? Please please please?
Combeferre: Uh...sure, by all means.
Bramble: Mweeheeheehee...how about heads for Emperor's New Groove, and tails for Hornblower?
Javert: Or...you could ask your audience.
Bramble: Say wha?
Javert: Post a question on your website, or whatever, and ask your prospective readers.
Bramble: ...I think that's the best idea you've ever come up with, Javvie.
Javert: Because I KNOW that you'd have a three-page transcription talking about the 'saga of the coin-flipping' and I'm not about to sit through that.
Bramble: Should I be frightened at how well you guys know me?
Valjean: Yes. Yes, you should.
Bramble: But it IS a good idea...here, let me go and post it. *toddles off to ask*
Javert: Finally, she's gone...
Enjolras: Not for long.
Valjean: Such a pessimist.
Courfeyrac: *in a whiny voice* I'm boooored...
Combeferre: Find a game to play.
Courfeyrac: *trails off mumbling*
Bramble: *toddles back* Okay, made a sign! How's this? *holds up sign*
Sign: "Vote For New Mizzie Story: Emperor's New Groove or Horatio Hornblower--Inquire Within"
Mizzies: *nod politely*
Bramble: *sets it up* Now, to wait...
Mizzies: *sit down to wait*
Courfeyrac: *after a beat* I'm boooored.
Mizzies: SHUSH!
____________
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Bramble: *peers in the room* Hello, everyone…
Mizzies: *look up irritably*
Bramble: *uncomfortable* What?
Javert: Have you decided to stop ignoring us now?
Bramble: Er…
Courfeyrac: Not that we MINDED being ignored, by any means--
Valjean: *glares*
Courfeyrac: *shuts up*
Javert: Nice glare, convict.
Valjean: Thank you.
Bramble: But…but…I haven’t been ignoring you guys THAT much!
Combeferre: Actually, you haven’t tried to write a story with us since last October, which was 6 months ago.
Bramble: I blame school and work.
Javert: *in a sing-song voice* What about this guy who was interested in you?
Marius: What? Who? For the captress?
Bramble: *has gone completely blank and unemotional* Note the past tense of ‘was’.
Marius: …oh.
Cosette: Oh, you poor thing!
Bramble: *still unemotional* Yeah. I’m sure.
Valjean: Er…you have our condolences, captress.
Bramble: Uh huh.
Javert: Might as well stop while you’re ahead, convict.
Bramble: Javert…
Javert: *looks expectantly*
Bramble: …shut it.
Javert: *mock bow* Of course, captress.
Bramble: So. The reason why I came here was to FORGET that, ‘kay?
Enjolras: *suspicious* Are you going to make us perform a play again?
Bramble: I don’t know yet.
Combeferre: You do realize that snarky aside comments will be required, yes?
Bramble: Of course.
*an uncomfortable silence*
Valjean: *whispered to Javert* She’s not fighting us on these issues…that can’t be good.
Javert: *whispered back* Duly noted.
Courfeyrac: So…um…what are we performing?
Bramble: Like I said, I don’t know yet. It’d be nice to do a movie instead of a play, I suppose. *drops off into silence*
Mizzies: *exchange glances*
Combeferre: Uh…do you have something for us to choose from?
Bramble: Yeah. Here’s a stack of movies, go have fun and decide. I’m going to go make a pot of tea. *mopes off towards kitchen*
Courfeyrac: *starts sifting through movies* Wow, there’s a pretty…uh…eclectic collection here.
Marius: *concerned* Should we be trying to cheer her up or something?
Javert: She goes through cycles—don’t worry, she’ll be all right.
Valjean: You’re around the captress the most, Inspector…how long has she been like this?
Javert: Couple of weeks.
Marius: And it’s just NOW that she’s come to us for distraction?
Javert: *shrug*
Valjean: You don’t seem too concerned, Javert.
Javert: Should I be?
Valjean: Well…she DOES talk to you more than any of the rest of us…didn’t she do anything that made you worried?
Javert: *shrug*
Bramble: *peers in suspiciously* What are you guys talking about?
Marius: Uh…that we’re a little worried about you, captress, and when we ask Javert what’s up he isn’t talking.
Bramble: Hey, Javert’s been more of a help than you guys realize…
Javert: *makes a ‘no I haven’t’ expression*
Valjean: How so, captress?
Bramble: He’s a good listener. And he offered to arrest the guy the evening of the breakup.
Mizzies: *send incredulous look at Javert*
Valjean: Really?
Javert: *defensively* What else was I supposed to do?
Marius: I didn’t know you had it in you to be so noble, Inspector.
Javert: All right, now that’s enough.
Bramble: I agree… *whistling sound from kitchen* There’s the kettle, be right back.
Courfeyrac: *looks up from movies* How in the world are we supposed to choose from these?
Combeferre: It’s simple, just list the ones that sound interesting and we can flip a coin to decide what to choose.
Courfeyrac: I’m going to need some help…
Javert: Oh, fine, let me see what you have.
*Sometime later*
Valjean: So it's a tie between 'The Emperor's New Groove' and one of the Horatio Hornblower movies?
Courfeyrac: I TOLD you it was a really eclectic collection.
Combeferre: How many of us have seen the Horatio Hornblower films?
*Javert raises hand; others look at each other uncomfortably*
Combeferre: Considering how much the captress complains about normal people not knowing what Hornblower is, it'd probably be better to go with the other movie--just for clarity's sake, of course.
Bramble: *toddles in holding a mug* What's for clarity's sake?
Combeferre: Not doing Hornblower.
Bramble: But why??
Combeferre: Because not many people know about it.
Bramble: ...as long as you're going in THAT train of thought not many people know about YOU guys in the canon sense. So hey, it'd be a double unknown feature! See? See??
Mizzies: *blank stare*
Valjean: That...doesn't make much sense.
Bramble: They never see...
Javert: I thought you were angsting, captress.
Bramble: I'm tired of angsting. It's time to do something fun. Something adventursome. Something spontaneous!! *strikes heroic pose and miraculously keeps tea from spilling*
*crickets; Mizzies look at one another*
Valjean: Uh--
Bramble: *drops dramatic pose* Sorry, I've been watching a lot of Phineas and Ferb lately. Give me a break.
Enjolras: Dare we ask what this 'Phineas and Ferb' is?
Javert: No. Don't ask. It's straaaange...
Bramble: All I can say is I watch it for the secret-agent platypus and the evil scientist.
Mizzies: ...
Javert: I told you it was strange.
Bramble: Hey, it caters to my brand of insanity. Don't bash it. *looks at movies* Ooh, what have we got here? *gasps* The Emperor's New Groove! Aahh, I love this movie!
Enjolras: *sigh* Let me guess, it caters to your brand of insanity?
Bramble: Exactly! I grew up on this movie!
Javert: That explains why you turned out the way you did.
Bramble: Eh, not really. Monty Python had a large role in developing my bizarre sense of humor too.
Enjolras: Dare we ask--
Javert: *clamps hand over Enjolras' mouth* DON'T. ASK.
Bramble: Oh wait, but you guys have Horatio Hornblower over here too... *whimpers with indecision*
Combeferre: We were just getting ready to decide which one to do when you showed up.
Bramble: Oh? And how were you going to do that?
Combeferre: Flipping a coin. *to Javert* A coin, please.
Javert: Why are you asking me?
Combeferre: Because it is a well-known fact that you carry random objects in your pockets. There ought to be a coin somewhere in there.
Javert: *hands over coin* You're just a little too character-savvy, four-eyes...
Combeferre: Thank you.
Bramble: Can I flip it? Please please please?
Combeferre: Uh...sure, by all means.
Bramble: Mweeheeheehee...how about heads for Emperor's New Groove, and tails for Hornblower?
Javert: Or...you could ask your audience.
Bramble: Say wha?
Javert: Post a question on your website, or whatever, and ask your prospective readers.
Bramble: ...I think that's the best idea you've ever come up with, Javvie.
Javert: Because I KNOW that you'd have a three-page transcription talking about the 'saga of the coin-flipping' and I'm not about to sit through that.
Bramble: Should I be frightened at how well you guys know me?
Valjean: Yes. Yes, you should.
Bramble: But it IS a good idea...here, let me go and post it. *toddles off to ask*
Javert: Finally, she's gone...
Enjolras: Not for long.
Valjean: Such a pessimist.
Courfeyrac: *in a whiny voice* I'm boooored...
Combeferre: Find a game to play.
Courfeyrac: *trails off mumbling*
Bramble: *toddles back* Okay, made a sign! How's this? *holds up sign*
Sign: "Vote For New Mizzie Story: Emperor's New Groove or Horatio Hornblower--Inquire Within"
Mizzies: *nod politely*
Bramble: *sets it up* Now, to wait...
Mizzies: *sit down to wait*
Courfeyrac: *after a beat* I'm boooored.
Mizzies: SHUSH!
____________
So, my little readers, cast your votes! I will tally them up as they come--democracy rules over here!
Take me home!
Review this story
Back to Writing