Les Miserables Performs Jekyll and Hyde (Pt. 4)
Courfeyrac: *races up the aisle to the stage* Hey! One of the dragons has Joly!
Valjean: Who’s Joly?
Enjolras: One of our compatriots! Come, friends, we must go rescue him!
Enjolras: Be brave, citizens! Come with me, we will rescue him! *races out*
*Amis follow with more than a little trepidation*
Valjean *to Javert*: Don’t you care whether the boy lives or not?
Javert: I personally couldn’t care one way or another.
Valjean: You aren’t even curious?
Jareth: I say, that’s darned heartless of you, old chap.
Javert: Apathetic, yes. Heartless, no.
Tavington: I though the ‘law never sleeps’ with you.
Javert: I never said it sleeps. I just don’t care what happens to the kid.
Ed Elric: *wanders onstage* Hey, where’s the lunk?
Ed: The tall guy--he was giving me a hard time about my arm.
Javert: Oh, him. Bahorel, I believe his name is. He’s with his friends confronting a dragon right now.
Ed: I see.
Al *still holding Elizabeth* Try not to kill him, Brother.
Ed: *grins evilly whilst punching his palm* Man, I can’t wait to punch that pompous idiot’s fat mug…*makes his way outside*
Blakeney: Overconfident little fellow, isn’t he?
Javert: It would appear so.
Valjean: ‘Violent’ was more the word I was looking for.
Tavington: I don’t suppose anyone here has heard what fandom he’s from?
Blakeney: I don’t know offhand…
Jareth: The FMA fandom, I believe. Why the captress chose those characters to fangirl over is beyond me.
Javert: *stands* Well, not that this isn’t fun, but I’m going to go act as crowd control.
Valjean: Suit yourself.
*Screams emanate from outside the auditorium*
Javert: On second thought, let’s go inspect that.
Enjolras: *is flung through the doors of the auditorium to bounce down the aisle*
Valjean: There’s one.
Enjolras: *pops to his feet* Ouch! Dang dragon! *races out again*
Blakeney: It would appear that they’re taking on the dragon.
Tavington: Yes…shall we go watch?
Jareth: Capital idea, old chap.
*Outside auditorium: Arkady (the dragon) has a petrified Joly in his hand. The Amis are going at Arkady with all they have, namely a big red flag and paving stones, whilst Temeraire and Laurence are trying to convince Arkady to put Joly down*
Valjean: Where did all the paving stones come from?
Tavington: Who knows? Nothing really makes sense around here; why should those?
Javert *watching Amis*: They obviously have no skill in tactics. They’re just teasing the creature.
Jareth: Maybe the dragon will eat ‘em.
Javert: That would be a miracle.
Valjean: …that wasn’t nice.
Javert: Didn’t mean for it to be nice.
Enjolras: *waving flag* Don’t lose hearts, my friends! We will defeat this foul creature--FOR THE REPUBLIC!!
Temeraire: *peers at Enjolras* You do realize that by calling dragons foul creatures, you’re insulting us?
Enjolras: *snaps out of ‘revolutionary mode* Er…
Arkady: *says something in dragon-speak*
Temeraire: And Arkady says that if you want your friend back, you have to stop attacking him.
Enjolras: Oh. Why didn’t you say so before?
Temeraire: You didn’t ask. You just attacked.
Javert: Don’t tell me this is becoming a ‘don’t blame the dragons’ fest…*snorts*
Valjean: I believe it is.
Javert: I’m outta here. *goes back in the auditorium*
Bramble: *peers out from backstage to see Javert stalking down the aisle* Hey…what happened to everyone?
Javert: *jerks a thumb back outside* One word: dragons.
Bramble: Dare I ask?
Javert: It’s best if you don’t.
Bramble: Right. *terrified screams and thuds come from outside; Bramble flinches but bravely ignores it*
Valjean: *toddles in* I don’t know that I can handle it anymore--*jumps at the sight of Javert*
Javert: Cut it out!
Valjean: Sorry. Old habit.
Bramble: *claps hands* Well. This is kind of boring--no offense, guys--
Javert and Valjean: None taken.
Bramble: --so I think it’s time to get back to the musical. *heads out to where the other guys are*
Javert: I give her…three seconds.
Valjean: I make it five.
*they wait and count*
Bramble: WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE????
Valjean: Hah. Pay up.
Javert: Neither of us got it.
Valjean: But it was almost five seconds.
Javert: Doesn’t count.
Valjean: Picky, picky…
Bramble: All right, everyone back to the stage! Now!
Javert and Valjean: *wisely get out of the way*
Amis: *stampede back towards the stage, hustled by Bramble*
Bramble: All right! No more dragon-baiting! Joly, you’re okay?
Joly: *stands shakily and nods*
Bramble: Good. Break’s over, get backstage!
Amis: *grumble grumble*
Bramble: Now that we’re all together again…no more distractions, no more breaks. If you want anything, you have to come to me and I’ll approve it. ‘Kay?
Enjolras: Foul despot!
Bramble: Name-calling does not endear people to your cause, Enjy.
Bramble: As I was saying, it’s time to get back to the musical. We have an audience to please!
Combeferre: I don’t think that they’re too enthused about the whole idea.
Javert: Who would be? Seeing that the whole production is maimed, butchered and left for the vultures, I wouldn’t want to see it either.
Bramble: That’s not my fault!! Your social life is so null and void that you wouldn’t go see anything!!
Javert: Doesn’t matter.
Bramble: *snarl spit hiss*
Valjean: *pats Bramble on the head* There, there, calm down. He affects everyone that way.
Bramble: *recovers* Well. I say that we’re back to the play. Now where did we leave off…*shuffles through script papers*
Courfeyrac: ‘Take Me As I Am’, I believe.
Bramble: *shudders* Er…would you guys be terribly upset if I skipped that song?
Marius and Cosette: What?!
Cosette: That’s our only other duet!
Marius: That’s like cutting ‘A Heart Full of Love’ from our show!
Bramble: I wouldn’t be above that.
Marius: It’s a matter of principle! What if the audience has never seen this play before?
Javert: Seeing as how it’s been rendered unrecognizable, I can see how they wouldn’t know what’s going on anyway…
Valjean: Shush, let the boy speak.
Bramble: Listen, who’s the director here??
Courfeyrac: Do you really want us to answer that?
Bramble: Shut up! We’re skipping this song and that’s final!
Marius and Cosette: *wibble*
Courfeyrac: With Marius being my friend, I have to step in!
Bramble: *gives Courfeyrac the ‘hairy eyeball’* Then you’d better step out. Unless you want the foot that stepped in to become a bloody stump.
Courfeyrac: *withers and withdraws*
Bramble: Thank you. Now, as I was saying…*scribbles across paper* ‘Take Me As I Am’ is scratched. What’s the next song?
Combeferre: ‘Letting Go’.
Bramble: Thank you, ‘Ferre. Valjean, you get your second appearance!
Valjean: Oh joy.
Bramble: Bahorel! Go tell the audience that we’re coming back!
Bahorel: *mock-salutes* Aye aye, ma’am.
Bramble: ‘Ferre! Dim the lights! Open the curtain! Let’s move, people!!
Valjean: Emma, don't you understand?
It's you I am concerned for-- Story of my life here
Cosette: Father, don't be A distinct sense of deja vu here
You should be concerned for him! That’s right, get the spotlight off of me
He's the one in need--
Valjean: I am only trying to protect you! This sounds familiar
What else would you have your father do? I’m just not going to comment from here on out…
I think I would die
If any harm should come to you
I'm scared, my child
Because I'm going to lose you
I find it very hard
To let you go…
If you tried to
You could never lose me! If you hadn’t gone and died on us, we’d still come and see you
I still love you
More than you will ever know
But if we want our love to grow -
Valjean: I know, in time, I have to let you go A nice way of saying ‘buzz off’
Cosette and Valjean: We mustn't be afraid of letting go...
Bramble: So sweet, sort of…now onto the next song! ‘Board of Governors’…oh. This is going to take a while.
Javert: You could cut parts from it.
Bramble: But then there’s no continuity!!
Javert: Do I sense a bit of discontinuity in cutting out songs--?
Bramble: Don’t talk back to me!
Javert: Just pointing it out.
Marius: *still pouting* He’s right, captress. Selective cutting is completely uncalled for.
Recording Secretary: The Board of Governors of St. Jude's Hospital is now in session.
Sir Danvers Carew, KBE, Chairman.
His Grace, The Bishop of Basingstoke.
General Lord Glossop.
The Right Honorable Sir Archibald Proops, Q.C.
The order of business will be conducted by the Secretary to the Board of
Governors, Mr. Simon Stride.
Courfeyrac: Proposition No. 929 - Presented by Dr. Henry Jekyll. Here’s your big chance, Marius!
Combeferre: Jekyll, you're all talk an' no result! Hence the ‘smack down’ after his Bonapartist rant…[A/N: Refer to Les Miserables in order to learn about the Bonapartist rant and the ‘smack down’ ]
Laigle: Forever asking us to endorse empty promises! Bad business, that
Joly: What's all the mystery? Much ado about nothing, if you ask me... What? Another Shakespeare reference?
Musichetta: You're the laughing stock of your profession and polite society!
The mad scientist! Ouch, burn!
Courfeyrac: Order! Order! Not that anyone will listen…*everyone calms down* Well, wouldja look at that? They listened!
Marius: Distinguished Governors, After all that screaming, you’re suddenly distinguished?
I have glimpsed the future Sounds like a Jules Verne novel
Seen miracles that stun the mind My mind will be stunned by the time we’re done here
And marvels only science can find Science can’t measure the marvel of love!
To shape tomorrow for mankind ‘One small step for man, one giant step for mankind…’
And I can show them to you Now you see it, now you don’t!
If you wish me to But only if you’re okay with it
Friends, you're aware there are two sides to each of us Really?
Good and evil, compassion and hate. I would never have guessed.
If we could extract all the evil from each of us we could make a weird tincture, and sell it! Just think: ‘Concentrated Evil: Just add water!’
Think of the world that we could create! What, with concentrated evil?
A world without anger or violence or strife Oh. I guess not
Where man wouldn't kill anymore! That’s a little idealistic
A world of compassion, where passion for life Even more so
Would banish the madness of war! Yeesh, he’s worse than Enjolras
Enjolras: Very funny, Pontmercy.
Marius: I'm close to finding the key to duality Aren’t we complex enough as it is?
Chemical formulae which could and would That’s a weird sentence
Alter the patterns of man's personality Ah, I see. If it was up to me, I wouldn’t tamper with what we’ve been given
Guiding him either to evil or good! It’s all a matter of what choices you make
Weigh the potential, the great possibilities I smell ambition
Colleagues - dear friends, understand! What’s to understand?
We have a chance to make history here in our hand! More ambition, I see
Each of us is the embodiment of two distinct and opposing forces - Good
and Evil - each fighting for supremacy inside us. Which makes up the conflicts in people, see. If we could separate these two forces, we could control and ultimately eliminate all evil from mankind. Can we back up and try something a little smaller first? My experiments with animals have led me to believe that the day is not far off when this separation will be possible. Experiments with animals?? How the heck was that supposed to tell me anything?? To achieve it, I must be allowed to try my formula on a living human being! Upgrading from street cats and stuff, I see…
Laigle: And what if you're right, Jekyll? And you do manage to separate
Good from Evil - What happens to the evil? Betcha never thought of that, huh?
Marius: There are doomed, broken souls in a thousand asylums Do you really have enough money to support a thousand asylums? I mean really.
I defy you to say you don't care if you can! Go ahead--I dare ya.
In the name of compassion and medical science, I double dare ya
I can save many lives if you give me one man! I triple-dog dare ya!
Laigle: I tell you now - the Church will never sanction it! Shut that door in your face
All: Sacrilege! Lunacy! Blasphemy! Heresy! More synonyms, quick!
Joly: You seem to be treading on dangerous ground
In legal terms, I'd say, extremely unsound! That was pretty corny.
Laigle: The whole thing's un-Christian, barbaric and odd! Righteous indignation, heading your way
You're playing with fire when you start to play God! Don’t get burnt!
Courfeyrac: The Bishop speaks for all of us, when he says you're playing God! Yeah, listen to the unlucky one!
There's such a thing as ethics over which you ride rough-shod! Really? And what might those be?
You're a doctor, not a saviour No! Really?
Doctor Jekyll, for a start! Once I get started I have a hard time stopping
But I judge from your behaviour Judge not lest ye also be judged…
You can't tell the two apart! You always were a bit of a dunce
Marius: Dear Mr. Stride, I am simply a scientist. Nothing more, nothing less
I have a code to which I remain true! Just let me to and refer to it…
I don't presume to the stature of moralist. Whoops, can’t find it. Guess I don’t have a code after all.
I leave pretension like that, Sir, to you! Yeah! And you can keep your darned pretension!
Valjean: Henry, I've always encouraged your enterprise Nice, a Star Trek reference
And I've been hopeful that you would succeed! “Success cannot be measured by a yardstick.”
But in the face of these powerful arguments, Who said that, anyway?
I see no choice but for you to concede! I need to stop spouting off random quotes
Marius: I know my fate is yours to choose Have mercy on me!!
But if they win, the world would lose The world? I’m not so sure about that.
I am on the brink of great success! *looks around* Riiiight.
I beg you, Governors, you must say "Yes!" Follow the crowd! Be sissies!
Musichetta: Doctor Jekyll, enough of this ranting, Sir! Yes, it does get rather old.
This is a hospital, here to save lives! I don’t see any hospital…
All: Do you think we would let you play havoc He’s right over there!
Jean Havoc: Hey!
All: With all the high principles for which it strives? Hi, Havoc…
Do you expect us to compromise all that we stand for That’s what it sounds like
Indulging your dangerous games? Isn’t that a song later?
How many rules should we break for your dubious games? Has anyone noticed that most of these lines don’t rhyme?
Marius: Can't you see? Hey, that’s true
I am not playing games! Let’s count how many not-rhymes there are
Just give me the opportunity! There’s one
Bahorel: This whole thing's too bizarre! Wow, that’ll be a hard one to rhyme
Valjean: Open up your eyes and see! This one won’t be too hard
Laigle: This man has gone too far! Oh look, a rhyme!
Marius: Unless you listen to me... And another real rhyme. This is no fun.
Courfeyrac: Doctor, please watch your tone! Let’s stop playing that game.
Dammit, man, can't you see? Ooh, swearing! Yikes!
You're on your own! That sounds familiar
Marius: Fools! Ignorance is bliss
You fools! Oh great, now I have Valjean’s ‘random spouting of quotes’ problem…
Valjean: Henry! Er, Marius!
Joly: Jekyll! Marius!
Marius: God damn your rules! Whoa, more swearing! You didn’t tell us about this, captress!
Laigle: Blasphemy! That’s pretty appropriate here…
Bahorel: Mutiny! Are we mutineers?
Combeferre: Look at yourselves! Yeah, don’t blame everyone else!
Damn me! Ouch, that’s pretty harsh
Civilized men! Or not
Musichetta: Really! I get a line!
Marius: Why can't you see?! Let’s see how long I can hold this note
Valjean: Henry! Marius!
Courfeyrac: Order! Order! Siddown and shaddup, everyone!
Marius: If I ever needed further justification for my experiments, gentlemen,
You have just provided it! Really?
Just look at what has happened here! All I saw was a lot of yelling and carrying on
Mix anger with a touch of fear This sounds like a recipe
The danger's all too crystal-clear About as clear as a thick fog on the ocean
Just look at you! Look! LOOK!
Our darker side keeps breaking through You have failed me--feel the power of the force!
Observe it now - in me and you We match!
The evil that all men can do must be controlled! Someone can hold the reins of control here…
I beg of you I never beg! I’d die first!
I'll show you all it can be done! Sure…
Here is a chance to take charge of our fate Yeesh, what is it with this character and control, huh?
Deep down you must know that tomorrow's too late! Is it? *shifty-eyed*
One rule of life we cannot rearrange Please, tell me
The only thing constant is change Oh?
The only thing constant...is change And that’s so dramatic and meaningful to be repeated
Courfeyrac: Distinguished colleagues, your verdict, please. Put your votes in the hat now…
All those is favour say "Aye" Or we’ll do it orally
All those opposed, "Nay" That’s pretty obvious
Governors: Nay! Nay! Nay! Nay!
Positively - Absolutely - Nay! And did we mention ‘nay’?
Courfeyrac: Sir Danvers? A slacker!
Valjean: Abstain. I don’t want to get on anyone’s bad side here, I guess.
Courfeyrac: By five votes to none - with one abstention Covering his back
Proposition 929 is rejected Hah!
Thank you for your time, Dr. Jekyll You can just tell that I’m thrilled to waste your time
Valjean: I am truly sorry, Henry. Not really, but whatever.
Marius: All these precious years I've dedicated to this dream Years? Mayhaps my character’s a bit obsessed
Now with a word they claim the power to deny me! It’s like taking chocolate away from a woman--bad things happen!
Who are they to judge what I am doing? Whatever happened to not judging, huh?
They know nothing of the endless possibilities I see! Or not
It's ludicrous I'm bound by their decision Wah. Let me whine for a while now
Seems vision is a word they've never heard! Now you have
If it mattered less, I'd treat it with derision You matter little to me!
It's absurd! Not all that absurd--
And yet the fact remains What fact?
Those bastards hold the reins! Ah…what’s with all the swearing?
Courfeyrac: I'm so sorry, Doctor Jekyll, what a really rotten shame! Note the glee in my voice
I so hope that what has happened won't destroy your precious name! My ‘sarcasm’ detector is going off like crazy
Henry Jekyll, I despise you! Ah, that’s more like it
You have stolen the girl who should be my wife! Er…
But there'll come a day, not so far away It’s just over the horizon
When you'll not only pay
You will pay all your life! That’s…pretty vindictive.
Bramble: We made it! *flings self onto the stage*
Valjean: Thank goodness…
Marius: Please tell me we’re done for a while…
Bramble: We just got done with a break, you big baby!
Bramble: *addresses audience* Jekyll’s friend, Mr. Utterson, takes Mr. Jekyll to a seedy club in order to relax. This brings us to our next song: Façade Reprise 2!
All: 'Ere in London East End Everything happens in the East End
It's the pit of the Earth - Of course, that’s a requirement
Where you won't find a friend - According to Oliver!, there are friends aplenty
Where yer life 'as no worth - Lives are a dime a dozen, I guess
Death is waiting - See what I mean?
Fate is markin' yer card. We have cards?
You got one chance in five - Not very good
They're the odds you must beat
If you wanna survive - That’s REALLY not good
So be fast on yer feet! We’ve been raised in the Paris version of London’s East End--we’ll be okay
Life's 'ard 'ere - Can’t be all that bad
It's the devil's backyard! Or not…
Javert: This Utterson character has no taste. *looks distastefully at the grungy set*
Bramble: Yeah…I’m trying to figure out exactly what kind of friend he is too. But that’s in the script, so that’s what we’re going with. Now, for the ever-pressing question: should we do ‘Good n’ Evil’ or ‘Bring On The Men’?
Combeferre: You waited until now to ask?
Javert: I would have thought that you would be a little more organized than that, captress.
Bramble: Shush! I don’t have everything planned!
Valjean: So we’ve noticed.
Bramble: What’s wrong with doing things by the seat of my pants?
Eponine: *looks up from the script* Let’s do ‘Bring On The Men’. I’ve heard the song, and it sounds fun.
Javert: Just what I’d expect from a street harlot.
Bramble: JAVERT!! Eponine isn’t a harlot!
Javert: *sniffs disdainfully*
Eponine: Ah, I’ve heard worse.
Bramble: I don’t care. Friendly jibing is okay among actors, but not full-fledged attacks.
Enjolras: Since when did you become protective over Eponine?
Bramble: She’s a person too! That’s my only motive!
Javert: *looks hopeful* I don’t suppose this mean’s you’ll be switching favorite characters now?
Bramble: *shoots a death glare at Javert* The chances of that happening are nil, thank you very much.
Bramble: All right! ‘Bring On The Men’ it is!
Take me home!
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