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Les Miserables
performs
Footloose (pt. 4)

Picture
**Onstage**

Bramble: Right, so we’ve got everyone rounded up, more or less… *catches sight of Eponine and Cosette* What are you two WEARING?

Cosette: *giggles* Isn’t this hideous? We were having a blast back there!

Eponine: And I didn’t even get to pull out the feather boa or the striped leg warmers or the sequins--

Bramble: Please, enough! Spare me! *shudders*

Cosette: *whispers* We didn’t even tell about that one--

Bramble: *talking loudly and quickly* Okay, we’ve been distracted but we’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there! Now--

Enjolras: What’s the rush, Captress?

Bramble: NaNoWriMo is coming upon us again!

Courfeyrac: You’re doing that again?

Bramble: Yes, I am! And I even know what I’m writing about, so there! *sticks tongue out*

Combeferre: We were under the impression that you were incredibly busy.

Bramble: Who says I’m not? Anyway, since NaNoWriMo is in less than a month I absolutely need to get this story and another one done. So I’m a typing maniac trying to get both finished.

Javert: *dryly* Best of luck.

Bramble: …thanks. So, on to the next song!! I’ll need Fantine and Musichetta for this…

Valjean: I believe that they have been sitting in the auditorium watching the scenes that they don’t participate in.

Bramble: Oh. That makes things simple…*looks out in auditorium* Fantine! Musi!

Courfeyrac: Musi?

Bramble: C’mon gals! You’re up!

Fantine: We’re coming…

Bramble: Anyway, this scene is where Vi and Ethel lament about not being heard/understood by the menfolk in their lives. Yay for self-pity!

Fantine: Swallowing my words They’re quite a mouthful, too
Staring at the floor
It needs sweeping
Counting little cracks in the tile
One, two three…
Struggling to smile without choking
These words I’m swallowing are pretty dry, it seems
Learning to be silent
Just learning?

Musichetta: Watching how the dust
Dances out the door
I must be sweeping, apparently. Either that or it’s very dusty around here.
Noticing my hands start to shake
Palsy!
Contemplating taking up smoking
I hear it’s calming
Learning to be silent
Yup, just learning

Musichetta and Fantine: Always hearing

Musichetta: "Hush, Ethel!"
Bad dog! Bad!

Fantine: "Please, Vi!"
Say the magic word

Musichetta and Fantine: "Let's not have this conversation"
Avoid all confrontation!

Musichetta: And so I stand by
'Stand by'? I'm not a computer
While my mind takes a small vacation
Is that even possible?

Musichetta and Fantine: La la la la la la la la
The dreaded la's!!

Fantine: Making little sounds
How little is a little sound?
Other folks ignore
It must be pretty little

Musichetta: Quieting the beat of my heart
A heartbeat is pretty quiet to begin with
Never being part of the moment
Wah, poor me

Musichetta and Fantine: Learning to be silent
It's not that hard, after a while

Fantine: Learning there are some topics that we don't even mention
Depending on the audience, I suppose there are

Musichetta: And if they come up, then we try to be vague
Vague is fun

Fantine: There are subjects from which we divert all attention
We do have a sense of propriety, you know

Musichetta: And some we avoid like the plague

Musichetta and Fantine: I'm
Becoming a mime
Just as long as you don't put me in one of those glass boxes

Fantine: Biting my tongue
It hurts!

Musichetta: Biding my time
Mwahahaha...

Fantine: Trying not to scream
This song is getting tiresome

Musichetta: Managed it before
You said it

Musichetta and Fantine: Knowing if I'm going to survive
As long as guns and knives aren't involved that ought to be pretty easy
Then, dammit
Ooh, profanity!

Musichetta: I've got to practice
Practice makes perfect

Fantine: Practice
Echo, yay

Musichetta and Fantine: Learning *they mime zipping their lips* hmm hmm hmm
Hmm hm hm? Hmm hmmmm hm!

Bramble: Okay, you can stop with the lip-zipping now...

Musichetta: What? We were just getting started!

Bramble: Still...enough, please. Now, next scene...oh, this is a fun one!

Courfeyrac: That's our cue to hide!

Bramble: Sit down! This is a scene with the girls, okay?

Courfeyrac: Oh. Okay.

Bramble: As I was saying, this is a scene where Ariel, Rusty, Wendy Jo, and Urleen (Eponine, Cosette, PW1 and PW2, respectively) have a fantasy rock-concert scene. And it was FUN. In our production the guys all wore 'hero' costumes and tore off their jackets in the middle of the song. It was great.

Javert: Enough reminiscing, captress, we haven't got all day.

Enjolras: If you want to be technical we DO have all day--

Bramble: Shh! You're completely right, Javert. Ladies, if you would...?

Eponine: Where have all the good men gone Gee, I dunno
And where are all the gods?
I'm assuming you mean Greek mythology gods? I don't know, most of them die...

Cosette, PW1 & 2: Yeah!
I guess we're yes-ladies

Eponine: Where's the streetwise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
What DID happen to Hercules?

Cosette, PW1 & 2: I'd like to know
No idea

Eponine: Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
How stereotypical
Late at night I toss and I turn
Insomnia is horrible

Cosette, PW1 & 2: I toss and I turn ooooo
Echoing, echoing...is that all we're good for?

Eponine: And I dream of what I need...
A good bath, for starters, and some decent food...
I need a hero
Oh, well, if we're going to be vague...

Cosette, PW1 & 2: Doo doo doo doo
What's with the gibberish??
Doo doo doo doo
Best not ask, I guess
Doo doo doo doo ah! Ah!

Eponine: Somewhere after midnight in my wildest fantasy
Let's not go there, 'kay?
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
I dreamed once that I was eating a hamburger...*drools*

Cosette, PW1 & 2: Hoo hoo hoo hoo
We're monkeys now! Woo!

Eponine: Racing on the thunder
How can you race on thunder?
And rising with the heat
In a balloon now, I guess
It's gonna take a Superman
Who's Superman?
To sweep me off my feet
I'd settle with M'sieur Marius over there... *grins*
I need a hero
Maybe
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
I am?

PW 1: He's gotta be strong
That's a good quality

PW 2: And he's gotta be fast
So is that

Cosette: And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
Aw, he'll be all sweaty and yucky then!

All: I need a hero
Heros are overrated
I'm holding out for a hero til the morning light
Well, if I must
He's gotta be sure
No namby pamby indecisiveness here!
And it's gotta be soon
I'm in no hurry here
And he's gotta be larger than life
Giants are overrated, on my opinion

Eponine: Larger than life

Cosette, PW1 & 2: Doo doo doo doo ah! Ah!

Eponine: Up where the mountains meet the heavens above
What if you're afraid of heights?

Cosette: Out where the lightning splits the sea
And there's the fear of drowning, too

Javert: *twitch* Don't remind me.

All: I could swear there is someone somewhere watching me
Pervert!
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
A tenacious pervert...
And the storm and the flood
He's not afraid to drown, I see
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood
That would hurt
Like a fire in my blood
Repetition, I see
Like a fire in my blood
Like a fire in my blood
Don't they get tired of this?
Like a fire in my ah! Ah!
I guess not

I need a hero
No I don't!
I'm holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
At least, not a conventional hero
He's gotta be strong
They're like Gary Stus, in their own right
And he's gotta be fast
*yawn* Been here, sung that
And he's gotta be fresh from the fight
No thanks

I need a hero
Is this song almost over?
I'm holding out for a hero til the morning light
I think it is
He's gotta be sure
No way that they can keep singing this over and over agan
And it's gotta be soon
Better soon than never!
And he's gotta be larger than life
Althoug in this case, 'never' COULD be too soon
Larger than life
Like I said, giants are overrated

Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo ah! Ah!
I need a hero!

Bramble: Finally, that song is over...

Cosette: What? I thought it was fun.

Bramble: I came to the realization that after you've heard it a bazillion times it gets a wee bit old.

Enjolras: I can see that happening.

Bramble: Another thing: what's with you ladies going all femenist with your improvisations? I thought you girls liked guys!

Cosette: We never said that we didn't like guys!

Eponine: Surely there's a line between guys and heros, though...

Bramble: ...all right, I concede the point. *sighs* I'm having a terrible time writing this stuff out...

Courfeyrac: Oh? Can we have--

Bramble: No! C'mon, guys, we need to at least get through Act 1!

Javert: Of course.

Bramble: ...why are you agreeing with me, Javert?

Javert: Because I know that getting through Act 1 usually results in some sort of break, yes?

Bramble: Well, yeah--

Javert: Therefore, we should increase our efforts to get through this act as quickly as possible.

Bramble: Your agreeing with me is weird...

Javert: Don't get used to it.

Bramble: Not planning on it. *looks at script* Let's see here...Valjean, you get your first solo!

Valjean: I get a solo?

Bramble: Well, yeah! It's nothing like 'Bring Him Home', but it'll have to do for the time being.

Valjean: That's fine by me.

Bramble: Oh wait, background check: in this song Shaw is lamenting the fact that no one wants to obey him and he is forced to act tyrannical and overbearing just to get people to see things his way.

Valjean: I can see a lot of things wrong with that line of thinking--

Bramble: *presses 'Play' on the CD player* Too late! Start singing!

Valjean: I don't enjoy being her jailor No, I can see why that wouldn't be very enjoyable
I don't relish telling her "No!"
That too
But then I think - what if I fail her?
That's a scary thought
How can I just let her go?
Bad things would happen. Very, very bad things.

I strive to be a good preacher
A good goal
I try not to go overboard
Subtlety is a good tool, I've found

Bramble: *cough choke Montparnesse's lecture cough*

Valjean: But then I think - if I can't reach her
That would be bad, I guess
How can I face my Lord?
What am I doing wrong?

Heaven help me shoulder my load
I need all the help I can get here
Every day's a struggle, still
Oh, so heavy
Someone's got to take the high road
I guess that someone is me here
If I don't, who will?
See?

I became a man of God
I've been saved, but I didn't know that I became a preacher
To do his work
A good calling, that
To spread his word
I do that normally, no need to be a preacher in order to do so
To ease some pain
And dry some tears
That was the plan
Oh, there's a plan here?....

.......Heaven help me
Ahh, a cut, those are good
Oh, heaven help me
If heaven can't, who can?
A very good question, that.

Is that satisfactory?

Bramble: Very much so. Thanks, Valjean.

Valjean: Think nothing of it.

Bramble: Right. *continues shuffling through script* Gasp! Guys, we've only got one more song before the end of the play!

Amis: *politely clap*

Javert: *drily* Hurray.

Bramble: I thought you guys were looking forward to your next break!

Enjolras: Who says we aren't?

Bramble: Well...you guys DO seem a bit subdued...

Courfeyrac: We're just tired from doing this play.

Bramble: ...you guys get tired?

Javert: Surprisingly though it may seem, yes we do.

Bramble: Wow. All of my illusions have been shattered.

Javert: And what, pray, is that supposed to mean?

Bramble: Well, when Hugo goes on and on and on about you guys he neglects to say if you get tired. Except for Valjean, I guess. But everyone else is at the height of their senses. *notices that the others are watching her with an incredulous/mocking look* Fine, fine, we'll move on to the next song, yeesh. In this scene Ren is firing up the other kids to fight against the unfair law about dancing. And this is a very good song.

Courfeyrac: Looking into your eyes I know I'm right
Yes, I'm ALWAYS right
If there's anything worth the fear, it's worth the fight
Yeah, I guess
No one can tie my hands
Rawr! I'm fierce!
Or make me change my plans
They'll have to kill me first!
I'm crossin' the line, jumpin' the track
Oh wait, they did that when we were at the barricades. Never mind
Takin' what's mine and not lookin' back
If it's mine, then I'm not a thief!

Heaven helps the man who fights his fear
Yup yup
Every day I face a new frontier
Ever day is a bit often...how about every other day?
I can't worry what the world will say
Of course not!
I may fly or fall but either way
Falling could be painful...
I'm free!
And that's all that matters! *grin*

Enjolras: You're not free, you're crazy!
Whoa, wait--why the lines?

Cosette: No one is going to forget the Potawney Bridge accident! That's a good question. And what in the world IS the Potawney Bridge accident?

Courfeyrac: How long are you going to live in that shadow? I think it may have been in the lines that we skipped over earlier

Eponine: There's only one way out of here, and that's by train! What's a train??

Courfeyrac: No, listen! I think it's like a car on steroids
Running away will never set you free
It won't?
Doesn't matter where you go, I guarantee
Yeah, take my word for it
Long as we hold our ground
Never give up, never surrender!
We cannot be bound
True, I guess
We're shakin' the past, makin' our breaks
Breaking things is fun! I'll bet I could get Bahorel to help
Takin' control if that's what it takes
Control is good, too

Heaven helps the man who fights his fear
Ah, power
We can face it down right now, right here
Yup, keep listening to me, that's right
Once you're standing on your own two feet
*looks at feet* I seem to be doing that already
You will not retreat if you repeat
I'm free!
It's a mantra--just keep repeating it to yourself
C'mon! Try it! It's fun!

Kids: *unenthusiastic* I'm free.
Wah. We're weenies

Courfeyrac: "Let the Lord hear your voice!"
Louder, you twits! *throws stuff at them*

Kids: I'm free!
Hey, stop it!
We're shakin' the past, makin' our breaks
We'll break this prop, and that person's costume, and Javert's nightstick
Takin' control if that's what it takes
But I thought breaking things was enough
I'm free!
I guess not

*dance sequence; the Mizzies, having been uninformed that they were to dance, mill around clumsily, falling over each other and various props, before getting into a ragged line at the front of the stage*

Kids: Heaven helps the man who fights his fear
I'm now thoroughly afraid of dancing
We can face it down right now, right here
We can? I thought we were just trying to get through this scene
Maybe we can finally right this wrong
Righting wrongs is good, unless you're in the wrong
Arm in arm and side by side we're strong
This bears a distinct resemblance to the game Red Rover
And free!
Born free, as free as the wind blows...

*Valjean and the choir appear on the other side of the stage; Bramble jumps up in the choir next to Javert*

Bramble: *grins* Hi, Javvie!

Javert: *ignores her*

Valjean: And now word comes to me that some young people in our
community want to change our law and throw a dance. This morning
let's remind ourselves that this law is not about dancing. This
law is a tribute - a tribute to four young people who held the
promise of Bomont's brightest future.
Ho hum

Kids: Heaven helps the man
Not ALL the time, mind

Valjean: And we stand united in honoring their memory!
Terribly fascinating

Kids: We can face it down
Right now, right here!
What if we want to choose our own battleground?

*in counterpoint*
Making our breaks
Oh, this is getting confusing
For heaven's sakes
Counterpoint, that is
Heaven helps the man
Especially since you can't hear
Heaven helps the man
Oy, this is deafening
Heaven helps the man
Long note!
I'm free!
And you can't stop us!

Valjean *in counterpoint*: Heaven help me Good thing I'm good at counterpoing
Someone's got to save his neighbors
Trying to take on God's responsibility isn't exactly easy
Oh heaven help me
This sounds familiar
If heaven can't
Who can
That's a very good question, but self explanatory

Choir *in counterpoint*: You will see us
What are we doing?
Raising our voices
Oh, okay
All of our voices
It's no fun if people don't join in!
For heaven's sake
finish the song already!
We will be released
We'll be free, right?

Kids: I'm free! Yup, you were right

*curtain*

Courfeyrac: I'M FREEEEE!!! *races for the exit*

Bramble: Hold it right there, bucko! You aren't going anywhere!

Courfeyrac: It's intermission! I can go wherever I want! *runs away*

Bramble: Anyone else move and they feel my fist of wrath!

All: *look at her quizzically*

Javert: *drily* I'm shaking in my boots.

Bramble: Not you, you're exempt. No, I'm talking about the others.

Enjolras: Combeferre, are you absolutely certain that we aren't allowed to overthrow this despot of a captress?

Combeferre: Positive. I refer you to article V, section 3--

Enjolras: *quickly* Yes, yes, that's quite all right.

Bramble: Right. So, you guys can do whatever you want--within reason, of course--for the next fifteen minutes. At the end of said fifteen minutes, I want to see you back here! Any exceptions will be...*drags finger across throat*

All except Javert: *shudder*

Bramble: *brightly* Now that we're done with that, have fun! There should be some refreshments in the kitchen. But don't touch the pie!

All: *meander towards kitchen*

Javert: When did you have time to make refreshments?

Bramble: Dollar General is your friend. Say it, believe it.

Javert: I see...

Bramble: *pulls out sketchbook*

Javert: Oh, no you don't. One sketching session is quite enough.

Bramble: You don't have to hold still, but I will promise that if you are anywhere within eyesight I will draw you.

Javert: Joy.

Bramble: Shush. *starts drawing*

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