Phantom of the Opera (pt. 4)
**In the kitchen**
Combeferre: Italian it is! How about noodles with a basil-alfredo sauce and garlic bread, gotta have that…*flips open a cookbook*
Eponine: *shuffles through fridge* Let’s see, ketchup, mustard, ooh, here’s some ground burger--’Zelma! Hand me a bowl!
Courfeyrac: *helps Joly and Laigle get out a deep-fryer* Eggrolls, you say? You’ll have to show me how to do those.
Bramble: Ugh, too many Buicks. *backs up against a wall*
Patron-Minette: We prefer to grill. *troop outside*
Javert: Patron-Minette? Grill? Fire? *follows as a chaperone*
Valjean: *slices bread and pops into toaster*
**general kitchen activity**
Enjolras: *backs out of kitchen looking a mite dazed* Too much activity in such a small place…
Bramble: My thoughts exactly.
After about an hour
Combeferre: Dinner…is served. *presents pasta with a basil-alfredo sauce and garlic toast*
Eponine: My lovely cheeseburger…*hums the cheeseburger song from Veggie tales*
Joly: Ah, egg rolls.
Patron-Minette: We have steaks, if anyone wants any.
Bramble: Will I never cease to be astounded?
Valjean: I certainly hope so. It’s disconcerting when someone knows everything about you. Even though we have a book Hugo never covered all of our aspects.
Javert: Of course not! We’re terribly complex characters.
Enjolras: Idle flattery, man.
Javert: Just what are you implying?
Enjolras: That you’re flattering yourself.
Javert: But it’s true.
Enjolras: I may be a complex character, but Huge admits that you’re very simplistic.
Javert: Hugo gave me a rotten introduction. I don’t act nearly the way he portrayed me at first.
Valjean: And I have a double complex as well.
Jehan: Why did we miss out on all this complex character-ness?
Joly: You’re one to talk, I get about four sentences description. Talk about depressing. Heck, Grantaire gets a longer introduction than me!
Bramble: I think we get the idea, your characters are very under-appreciated.
Javert: Darn tootin’!
Bahorel: *bursts out laughing*
Bahorel: Well, it’s just, uh, *laughs* I’ve never heard anybody, much less a hard-core cop, use that expression.
Bramble: It’s a fun expression though.
Combeferre: *oblivious to the last bit of conversation* But what’s Italian without wine? *pops open a bottle*
Bramble: What’s with all the alcohol?? People are going to start thinking I have a limitless supply of the stuff!
Combeferre: Perhaps you should hide it then.
Bramble: I’d think you guys would have more self-control than that!
Courfeyrac: We’re college students, whaddya expect?
Enjolras: I’m a college student, and I most certainly do not drink ridiculous amounts of alcohol.
Courfeyrac: You also happen to be an anomaly.
Enjolras: Just because I happen to have higher morals and values than SOME people I could mention--
Combeferre: Careful, Enjolras, he’s just picking a fight.
Javert: Your ‘anomaly’ seems to have a temper.
Enjolras: Where’s a carbine when you need it?
Joly: The food’s getting cold…
Combeferre: Ah! So it is.
**after much eating of food**
Bramble: You guys are surprisingly good cooks.
Combeferre: *modestly* We try.
Javert: You know, it’s getting rather dark.
Courfeyrac: It’s a little late to continue the play…
Bramble: For the last time: we are going to get through the first act! Then you can do whatever you want, all right?
Enjolras: How many songs are left in the first act?
Bramble: *counts on fingers* Um…five. Prima Donna, Il Muto, Flight from the Phantom--
Jehan: I thought it was Why Have You Brought Us Here.
Bramble: I don’t care for that name. Then there’s All I Ask of You and AIAOY reprise.
Enjolras: All the greater reason to do it tomorrow!
Bramble: If you keep delaying I shall have no recourse but to hypnotize you and make you get sloppy drunk and pour your deepest life secrets to Grantaire.
Enjolras: *looks horrified*
Bramble: Thank you for your cooperation. To the stage!
**back at the stage**
Marius: We’re doing Prima Donna, right?
Bramble: Right. *pops CD in player and skips to song* And here we go!
Marius and Valjean: Prima Donna, first lady of the stage
Marius: Not the second? Or the third?
Marius and Valjean: Your devotees are on their knees to implore you. Ouch, this is hurting our knees…
Valjean: Can you bow out when they’re shouting your name? I don’t hear anyone.
Marius: Think of how they all adore you. …no comment.
Both: Prima Donna, enchant us once again!
Valjean: Think of your muse He ran out the back door, go fetch him back!
Marius: And of the queues ’round the theatre! They’re surprisingly small
Both: Can you deny us the triumph in store? We can’t exactly agree with it
Both and Montparnesse: Sing, Prima Donna, once more! Once is enough!
Azelma: Prima Donna, your song shall live again but for a very short period
You took a snub
But there’s a public who needs you. I’m sure they could survive without me
Think of their cry of undying support Aw, I’m so touched
Follow where the limelight leads you! I don’t see a limelight--I’m blind!!
Prima Donna, your song shall never die But we can always hope!
You’ll sing again Aw man…
And to an unending ovation. I’m sure
Think how you’ll shine
In that final encore It’ll take a lot of polishing
Sing, Prima Donna, once more! For the last time?
Enjolras: Christine spoke of an angel… But she’s clinically crazy!
Marius and Valjean: Who’d believe a diva happy to relieve a chorus girl
Who’s gone and slept with the patron? Gasp! Scandal!
Raoul and the soubrette That’s rather insulting
Entwined in love’s duet No comment
Although he may demur
He must have been with her What’s the proof?
You’d never get away
With all this in a play But this is a play and he is getting away with it!
But if it’s loudly sung
And in a foreign tongue If it’s to be sung in a foreign tongue why are we singing in English?
It’s just the sort of thing audiences adore Not me!
In fact, a perfect opera! I beg to differ
Fantine and Christine: His curse is on this house… Yikes, a curse!
All: Prima Donna, the world is at your feet Just don’t step on it
A nation waits Let it wait!
And how it hates to be cheated I’m afraid it’ll just have to deal with it.
Light up the stage with that age-old rapport Seems pretty new to me
Sing, Prima Donna, once more! No!
Once more! Didn’t we just say no??
Bramble: Woo! Well, Il Muto is kind of nonsensical, so I won’t make you guys do it.
Valjean: Someone’s in a good mood.
Javert: My humor is quite sated at this point as well.
Fantine: That’s just wrong. ‘Javert’ and ‘humor’ don’t belong in the same sentence.
Javert: I can be humorous!
Fantine: No! Please, don’t! That would be just terrifying!
Valjean: I must agree, your smiling is enough to clear the streets.
Javert: You’re just jealous because you can’t.
Valjean: I can say with all truthfulness that that ability is not one I desire.
Javert: Suuuuure you don’t.
Bramble: Okay guys, please don’t fight, we have only three more songs to go.
Enjolras: *looks a little paler than usual* Oh no, has it come upon us already?
Bramble: ’Fraid so.
Enjolras: Oh dear…
Javert: Haha, time for the blond statue to become loverboy!
Enjolras: For the last time I have no desire to be in a romantic situation!
Eponine: Ah, you’ll be fine Enjy.
Enjolras: *winces* Please, don’t call me that. It’s bad enough the crazy author calls me that.
Bramble: I DO have a name, you guys.
Enjolras: I’m sure that I don’t care.
Javert: Besides, it’s more fun to call you stuff like crazy author and fille qui devrait être dans une maison de fous.
Bramble: I don’t know French!
Javert: All the better. *to Enjolras* Elle a très peu d'imagination à voler d'autres personnes pour ses histoires.
Enjolras: Oui, je suis d‘accord.
Bramble: That is just not fair guys. Where’s my French-English dictionary??
Valjean: Perhaps it’s better you don’t know what they’re saying.
Bramble: Valjean, you’re nice, tell me what they’re saying.
Bramble: I won’t hurt you, I promise.
Javert: I don’t care if she knows what I think of her.
Valjean: Javert said you should be in a madhouse and that you have very little imagination to steal other people’s creations for your stories.
Bramble: Oh. Well, it could have been worse. *tosses dictionary into book bag*
*After Il Muto Christine leads Raoul up to the rooftop for fear that the Phantom will try to kill Raoul*
Combeferre: Whoa, wait, kill?? Did we miss something?
Bramble: Oh, yeah. The Phantom hangs Joseph Buquet with a lasso in the middle of the performance. And as I didn’t think we should hang Grantaire we just skipped it.
Javert: Oh, I kill someone?
Enjolras: If it’s Grantaire, then I don‘t think we mind all that much--
Bramble: ENJOLRAS!! I’m shocked at you!
Enjolras: He’s a leech, sucking the creative energy out of the republic!
Grantaire: *manages to look very pitiful* Am I that repulsive?
Grantaire: *sniffs pathetically and goes back to his absinthe*
Bramble: Enjolras, apologize.
Enjolras: Nothing doing.
Bramble: Apologize, you bloody idiot!
Bramble: Fine. Then I guess you’ll just have to do the rooftop scene with Eponine until you come to your senses.
Enjolras: I laugh in the face of danger! *laughs to prove his point*
Bramble: *gets crazy look (yes, crazier than the one already there* Oh, you shouldn’t have done that, Enjolras. This danger is very real. *starts CD*
Enjolras: Erm…*looks slightly uncomfortable*
Enjolras: Why have you brought us here? Please, I wanna go home!
Eponine: Don’t take me back there! Stages scare me
Enjolras: We must return! I fully agree!
Eponine: He’ll kill me! Er…okay…
Enjolras: Be still now-- so I can run past you!
Eponine: His eyes will find me there! There’s that stalker reference again
Enjolras: Christine, don’t say that-- ‘Cause stalkers are creepy
Eponine: Those eyes that burn! Yet another supernatural talent, burning eyes
Enjolras: Don’t even think it-- Yuck, burning eyes, that brings a very odd image to mind
Eponine: And if he has to kill a thousand men--So does that phrase
Enjolras: Forget this waking nightmare--I don’t want to play a romantic!
Eponine: The Phantom of the Opera will kill-- This Phantom fellow has issues
Enjolras: This phantom is a fable
Believe me-- when I say I hate being a romantic
Eponine: And kill again! Murder, murder in the night air! Murder, murder, it’s a nightmare--oh, wait, wrong song, never mind.
Enjolras: There is no Phantom of the Opera! Did I mention I hate being a romantic?
Eponine: My God, who is this man-- I think we got the point, Enjy
Enjolras: My God, who is this man-- What did I say about calling me Enjy?
Eponine: Who hunts to kill? I think it sounds cute.
Enjolras: This mask of death? I don’t wanna be cute!
Eponine: I can’t escape from him-- Did I say that you look cute when you’re mad?
Enjolras: Whose is this voice you hear— You’re freaking me out
Eponine: I never will! I tend to do that to people
Enjolras: With every breath? I seem to remember Marius saying stuff about how creepy you were.
Bramble: Um…guys? If you’re going to make sarcastic comments couldn’t you at least say them in reference to the song instead of a running dialogue? It’s really confusing…
Eponine: Yes! Let’s confuse the writer girl even more!
Enjolras: Sounds fun.
Bramble: Your enthusiasm is overpowering, Enjolras…
Eponine *in counterpoint*
And in this labyrinth You also look cute when you blush
Where night is blind But not as cute as Marius
The Phantom of the Opera is here He blushes more than you do anyway
Inside my mind But that’s not bad!
Enjolras *in counterpoint*
And in this labyrinth Stop calling me cute!!!
Where night is blind Goody for the lawyer boy, then…
The Phantom of the Opera is there Can we get back to the story?
Inside your mind I’d rather stay out of your mind, I might get dirty
Enjolras: There is no Phantom of the Opera! Or so we say…
Eponine: Raoul, I’ve been there Eh? I’ve been somewhere?
To his world of unending night Oh, there
To his world where the daylight dissolves into darkness Not that darkness is bad
Darkness Why do these characters always repeat themselves?
Raoul, I’ve seen him Do what?
Can I ever forget that sight? Maybe if I knew what I had seen I could try to forget it
Can I ever escape from that face Oh, ol’ Inspector What’s-his-name?
So distorted, deformed Well, maybe not deformed, but those sideburns are creepy
It was hardly a face That’s going a bit far
In that darkness There’s that line again
Darkness And again!!
But his voice filled my spirit Hah!!
With a strange, sweet sound *coughs loudly*
In that night
There was music in my mind I didn’t notice any
And through music
My soul began to soar! *breaks off in a laughing fit*
And I heard as I’d never heard before… I’ve heard better!
Enjolras: What you heard was a dream
And nothing more… How about a nightmare?
Eponine: Yet in his eyes They’re pale, and kind of scary
All the sadness of the world Could sadness fit in with smoldering loathing?
Those pleading eyes Pleading? Hah!
That both threaten and adore… Oh man, I don’t know if I can take much more of this
*Javert, who is lurking behind a statue, listens intently to Eponine’s monologue*
Christine… I really am getting sick of this role
Javert: Christine… Join the club, blondo.
Enjolras: Um…can I go for a minute?
Bramble: No! You can’t leave now!
Enjolras: Um…well, I have to…uh, the bathroom! Yeah, I have to use the bathroom.
Bramble: Fine, use the bathroom.
**Ten minutes later**
Bramble: Courfeyrac, Bahorel, do me a favor and make sure he didn’t fall in.
**Fifteen minutes later**
Bahorel: We caught him trying to climb out the window.
Javert: Tsk, tsk, the fearless leader is afraid of a little scene?
Enjolras: *looks very disheveled* I don’t wanna!!
Bramble: But you’re gonna! Anyway, you should have known better than to go out the window, it’s way too small.
Enjolras: So I discovered.
Fantine: *thrusts a hair brush at him* Try to look half-way decent, you’re on in two minutes.
Enjolras: Are all the females against me??
Bramble: I’m sure Cosette doesn’t have any designs against you.
Enjolras: Like that’s a relief.
Valjean: *has missed most of the conversation* You stay away from Cosette! It was bad enough when she was being stalked! And she’s married now anyway!
Enjolras: I can say with all honesty that I have no intentions on pursuing your daughter.
Valjean: Oh, so my daughter’s not good enough for you?
Enjolras: I never said--
Javert: *adopts an exaggerated southern accent* Whut we have hyar, is a failyuh to communicate!
Bramble: *facepalm* Thirty seconds Enjolras!
Enjolras: *looks vaguely ill*
Combeferre: Ah, you can do it, Enjolras! We have faith in you!
Bramble: Must be nice to have a support group…
Grantaire: *says something unintelligible and slumps over again*
Enjolras: Sometimes, I guess.
Bramble: And here we go!
Enjolras: No more talk of darkness Sure, just talk about flowers, and sunlight, and birds and stuff…*gags*
Forget these wide-eyes fears Yes…fear, fear me! *assumes crazed expression*
I’m here, nothing can harm you I’m sure…
My words will warm and calm you What?!? This wasn’t in my contract!
Let me be your freedom Okay, no comment whatsoever.
Let daylight dry your tears Won’t they dry on their own?
I’m here, with you, beside you I’m outta here!! *some sort of fleeing occurs*
Bahorel: *has Enjolras in a headlock* Now, you heard what the crazy authoress said, you have to do this. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Bramble: Um…thanks, Bahorel.
Bramble: Enjolras, please, just do the song.
Enjolras: Leggo of me, ya big block!
Bahorel: No fleeing.
Enjolras: Fine! Fine!
Enjolras: To guard you and to guide you *gulp choke*
Eponine: Say you’ll love me every waking moment *doubles over in a fit of laughter*
Turn my head with talk of summertime *snorts* Like summertime is gonna make me happy. All those bugs and stuff--
Say you need me with you, now and always Talk about dependent!
Promise me that all you say is true— What? Enjolras lies? Perish the thought!
That’s all I ask of you Could I ask for a restraining order too?
Enjolras: Let me be your shelter Or I could just set you up with a nice little flat, how about that?
Let me be your light I’ll give you a candle!
You’re safe: no one will find you Especially not on top of this rooftop
Your fears are far behind you Actually, they’re right behind you
Eponine: All I want is freedom I also want a guy who isn’t claimed *sighs*
A world with no more night Yeah, the bugs are really bad at night
And you, always beside me How about just sometimes beside me?
To hold me and to hide me *falls on the floor laughing*
Enjolras: Then say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime *gags*
Let me lead you from your solitude I suppose your parents don’t really count for company huh?
Say you need me with you here, beside you No! I won’t do it!
Anywhere you go let me go too What am I, a dog?
Christine, that’s all I ask of you I ask you to go away too!
Eponine: Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime Not in this lifetime, bucko!
Say the word and I will follow you …I might follow if you have food
Both: Share each day with me Never!
Each night, each morning *both recoil* Yuck!
Eponine: Say you love me Please don’t!
Enjolras: You know I do Not!
Both: Love me-- *both recoil again*
That’s all I ask of you…. Is to go away!
Enjolras: I’m NOT doing the kiss.
Eponine: No problem.
Bramble: That’s something I don’t understand…Enjolras is supposedly really desirable amongst the ladies, Eponine. Why don’t you like him?
Eponine: He’s blond.
Eponine: I like dark-complexioned guys! What’s wrong with that?
Bramble: Nothing, nothing. At least I now know.
Enjolras: That is completely fine with me.
Bramble: Fine, fine. Because I personally find kissing to be slightly gross (especially if it involves twenty seconds or longer) I’ll let you off the hook this time.
Enjolras and Eponine: *collapse with relief*
Both: Anywhere you go let me go too Woof, woof. I’m a dog.
Love me— Don’t!
That’s all I ask of you That and go away
Eponine: I must go— to wash my hair
They’ll wonder where I am Who’s they?
Wait for me, Raoul! Wait for me in the alley, I’ll send someone to check on you in a couple of weeks…
Enjolras: Christine, I love you… Not!
Eponine: Order your fine horses!
Be with them at the door! You have horses?
Enjolras: And soon you’ll be beside me! No, I don’t have horses. They’re too expensive.
Eponine: You’ll guard me and you’ll guide me They’re big and hard to handle too.
*Raoul and Christine go offstage. Phantom emerges from behind statue and picks up fallen rose*
Javert: Where did the rose come from?
Bramble: Oh…Eponine was supposed to be playing with a rose and drop it, thus symbolizing her rejection of you.
Javert: No skin off my nose.
Bramble: I can tell…
Javert: I gave you my music I don’t write music, what are they talking about??
Made your song take wing I didn’t see any feathers or wings…
And now, how you’ve repaid me I won’t take any payment from a street girl!
Denied me and betrayed me Really? I don’t recall any betrayal…
He was bound to love you Sure, lots of love going around here
When he heard you sing It wasn’t that good
Christine… We need to change this name, it’s just weird calling the kid that
Enjolras and Eponine, offstage: Say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime Please don’t!
Say the word and I will follow you There’s that dog reference again
Share each day with me Argh! I don’t wanna!
Each night, each morning Ewwww!!
*while listening a kaleidoscope of expressions cross the Phantom’s face (shock, hurt, disbelief, anger), ending with an out-for-revenge expression. He shreds the rose, dropping the petals on the ground, and with a cry of rage leaps up and races over onto a statue*
Javert: A kaleidoscope of expressions, eh? Someone has a dictionary. *runs through the expressions in an extremely exaggerated fashion*
Bramble: Stop mocking my writing style!
Javert: You will curse the day you did not do A curse, eh?
All that the Phantom asked of you! Demanded, I’d say
Courfeyrac: I’m going to stand in as Grantaire and ask for a break. It’s dark now, and we need a place to stay.
Bramble: Oh. Right. Um, lessee…how about a hotel?
Valjean: Are you kidding? They’d throw us out.
Javert: They can’t refuse an inspector!
Valjean: We aren’t exactly dressed like normal people *gestures to period clothing* and bringing 35 people into a hotel is going to raise suspicion.
Javert: Oh, avoiding the law, are we?
Bramble: Don’t harass the convict, Javert.
Bramble: But seriously, I see your point, Valjean.
Jehan: How about your house?
Javert: Yeah, you brought us here, you have to accommodate us!
Combeferre: That’s another point of our contract. *pulls out said contract*
Bramble: Has that thing grown since I saw it last?
Combeferre: Like I said, we extras have lots of time on our hands. Now where was it…*shuffles through a stack of papers about an inch thick*
Bramble: I’m scared now.
Combeferre: Here we go. Article 2, section 5: “The abductor, upon completing sections of forced performances, is required upon the request of abductees to house said abductees in the housing of their choice, supplying bedding and necessary toiletries--”
Bramble: Enough! Enough! I get the point!
Bramble: Um…I hope some of you guys are up to camping out.
Paris women: Will we be needed anymore?
Bramble: Um…same time tomorrow, yes.
Paris women: We have a place, see you cats later! *they leave*
Eponine: Just an expression, Enjy.
Courfeyrac: That frees up about eight spots.
Bramble: Oh joy. Thenardier, Patron-Minette, do you guys mind camping out?
Bramble: I’ve got three tents, have fun.
Patron-Minette: *head for the backyard*
Bramble: So that leaves Javert, Eponine, Enjolras, Combeferre, Courfeyrac, Jehan, Joly, Laigle, Bahorel, Grantaire, Feuilly, Valjean, Cosette, Marius, Azelma, Fantine, and Gavroche. Is that everyone?
Bramble: Okay, good. That’s 16, and more people than I have rooms in the house…some of you will be rooming together.
**Sometime later--outside the bathroom**
Bahorel: You have ONE bathroom???
Bramble: It’s not my fault!
Courfeyrac: I call dibs first! *runs in and locks door*
Javert: Hey! Inspectors get preferential treatment! *pounds on door*
Courfeyrac: *sings an off-key version of ‘Red and Black’*
Javert: Just wait! When you get out I’ll arrest you! Then I’ll lock you in the chicken coop and throw away the key! And then I’ll--
Bramble: Javert, honestly--
Valjean: Let’s choose fairly to see who goes in next.
Courfeyrac: Black, the dark of AAAAAAAAGEEEEESS PAAAST!!!
Marius: Even though Courfeyrac is my friend, can we move away from the door?
**they troop into the living room**
Bramble: How about we flip a coin? Write down our names, put ‘em in a hat--
Javert: Would you like my hat?
Bramble: Ahahahahaha!! *falls on the floor in a fangirlish moment*
Marius: That was…disturbing.
Valjean: Pick a number between 1 and 24,601.
Javert: Oh, yeah, real subtle, Valjean!
Bramble: I think that’s the first time you haven’t called him ‘convict’.
Javert: So? If I say it in a derisive tone it still counts.
Valjean: Any takers?
Bramble: By my watch, if everyone takes five minutes it’ll take an hour and fifteen minutes for everyone to be done.
Enjolras: If we don’t shower it’ll take less time.
Combeferre: But then we’ll smell.
Bramble: Don’t even go there!
Fantine: Everyone with long hair should have the chance to get a shower.
Bramble: But the only people with hair shorter than their shoulders are Valjean, Marius, Bahorel, Feuilly, and Laigle.
Laigle: Gee, thanks.
Bramble: My point is, it’ll take over an hour anyway.
Courfeyrac: Next! *comes out in pajamas*
Javert: I call next in the bathroom. *glares so ferociously no one argues*
Bramble: Where did those pajamas come from?
Courfeyrac: Packed ‘em.
Bramble: You guys planned on staying overnight?
Enjolras: Well…*looks mildly embarrassed*
Fantine: These sort of plays usually take more than a day, so we decided it was better to be safe than sorry.
Bramble: I see…Courfeyrac, I didn’t know they made pajamas with thunderbolts on them.
Valjean: That’s a good place to shop.
Bramble: You guys have gone to Wal-Mart?
Bahorel: Couldn’t live without it.
Fantine: They sell good shampoo and conditioner.
Bramble: This is just too weird.
Courfeyrac: What are we supposed to do while we wait?
Joly: Does anyone have a pack of cards?
Javert: *pokes head out of bathroom* Oh, gambling now, eh?
Bramble: I think so, somewhere around here…*goes to look in a drawer*
Valjean: Javert, can’t you just relax and stop nit-picking on everything?
Javert: Nope. *goes back in bathroom and locks door*
Bramble: Okay, I have two packs of cards and a bag of poker chips.
Courfeyrac: Oh yay! I’m a shuffling expert…*begins shuffling*
Joly: How about five-card draw?
Combeferre: I call seven-card stud.
Valjean: How about Texas hold-em?
Enjolras: Let’s get started. *starts shelling out chips*
Gavroche: You have movies? *starts shuffling through video drawer*
Bramble: Yes. You want a movie? Seriously?
Gavroche: No. I just wanted to point them out. *bounces over to the bookshelf*
Bramble: Okay…that was odd.
Javert: *exits bathroom dressed in a union suit* Next.
Fantine: Dibs! *dashes into bathroom*
Bramble: *sees Javert’s union suit* AAAHH!! I’m blind!!
Bramble: Never mind. Javert…your hair…
Bramble: Can I run my hands through it? It’s so long…and pretty…
Javert: *gives a very weird look* Of course not.
Javert: Room for one more?
Valjean: I thought you had an aversion to poker.
Combeferre: There’s an empty chair there, Inspector.
Javert: At least SOMEBODY appreciates my status. *sits down*
**three poker games (averaging 25 hands apiece) and ten showers later**
Gavroche: No! I don’t want a bath! I don’t need a bath!
Bramble: Fine, fine. You aren’t sleeping in clean sheets like that though.
Gavroche: What makes you think I care?
Bramble: I could always hope you’d get cleaned up.
Gavroche: *sticks tongue out*
Javert: *rakes in poker chips* Hah, four hands in a row.
Courfeyrac: You’ve got to be cheating.
Javert: I never cheat! I just have good luck.
Courfeyrac: I’m sure.
Javert: Hands off the sleeves!
Courfeyrac: You could be hiding something up your sleeves!
Javert: Touch me again and you pull back a bloody stump, boy.
Courfeyrac: Fine, fine, I can take a hint.
Combeferre: My turn to deal.
Bramble: I don’t know about you guys, but I’m about to collapse right here.
Bahorel: You wimp! It’s only 12:30!
Bramble: Three hours past my bedtime…
Courfeyrac: No one’s keeping you up.
Bramble: But I can’t leave you guys unsupervised.
Javert: They wouldn’t be unsupervised. What do you think I do?
Bramble: Sit around, play poker, and threaten people with jail?
Javert: Ha hah. Very funny.
Courfeyrac: I bet five.
Enjolras: Raise you five.
Enjolras: Rather confident, are we, Inspector?
Bramble: *stumbles off to living room and slumps in overstuffed chair* Can’t…go…to…sleep…*nods off*
Courfeyrac: Good, she’s asleep.
Javert: Someone put her in her room before she wakes up.
Valjean: I guess it’s up to me. *puts Bramble in her room* Just keep it down, okay guys?
Courfeyrac: Yeah, we’ll keep quiet, don’t worry…*winks at Bahorel, who grins devilishly*
Bramble: I’m disappointed in you guys.
Everyone: *looks properly sheepish*
Bramble: I mean, I don’t mind if you guys hold a water war in the backyard, but why did you have to get out the matches? I’m lucky the house is still standing.
Bahorel: It was a little fire…
Bahorel: It was!
Bramble: Which is why the shade trees are blackened and shriveled, right?
Courfeyrac: It could have been worse.
Bramble: I’m sure…
Javert: At least we didn’t trash the bathroom like the females did.
Fantine: Not fair!
Cosette: It’s tradition for the girls to have makeovers at a sleepover.
Javert: Yeah, yeah.
Bramble: Well, I guess I should be happy the animals were locked up in their respective buildings.
Enjolras: Heh, well, about that…
Combeferre: I’m sorry, crazy author, we cannot tell a lie.
Bramble: Don’t pull a George Washington on me--
Javert: They let the horses out.
Bramble: WHAAAATT???!!! *spazzes out*
Jehan: Don’t worry, we caught them again. They’re in the pasture.
Combeferre: Should we leave her there?
Bramble: You--the horses--how--why--
Javert: They didn’t go very far.
Bramble: I don’t even want to know!!
Courfeyrac: Fine with me.
Enjolras: I never thought I’d say this, but can we get back with the musical?
Bramble: *clambers to her feet using Valjean as a ladder* Hear, hear. You guys are entirely too dangerous to leave on your own time.
Jehan: Wait ‘til you hear what Patron-Minette did!
Bramble: *shudders* Please, please don’t, let’s just go.
Okay, to the best of my knowledge the French Javert and Enjy say translate to this:
fille qui devrait être dans une maison de fous=girl who should be in a mad house
Elle a très peu d'imagination à voler d'autres personnes pour ses histoires=She has very little imagination to be using other people's stories instead of her own
Oui, je suis d'accord=Yes, I agree OR Yes, I am in agreement.
On to part 5!
Take me home...
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