Phantom of the Opera
Bramble: *bustles in with arms full of papers and such* *brightly* Hello everyone!
Les Mis cast: *grumble grumble*
Bramble: *peeks over glasses* You’re all living up to your name right now…
Enjolras: Of course we’re not happy! You’re just another one of those stupid fanfic authors who makes us perform even stupider stuff!
Bramble: I think I take offense at that…
Enjolras: I don’t care, and I rest my case.
Bramble: Don’t you even want to see what I’ve got picked out? *puppy-eyes*
Bramble: Well tough. *hands out papers*
Valjean: A script? I knew it…
Javert: What is this tripe? ‘Phantom of the Opera’?
Bramble: Just one of the greatest love stories of all time, that’s all.
Grantaire: *pantomimes sticking a finger down his throat*
Bramble: *glares* Grantaire…
Grantaire: *looks innocent*
Bramble: Ahem. As I was saying…*runs them through a synopsis*
Javert: So basically it’s about a psycho stalking a girl who’s in love with someone else? Bo-ring!
Bramble: Wait until you hear what your role is. *grins evilly*
Javert: *glances at cast list* ‘Erik’? Who the devil is he?
Bramble: The psycho stalker you were just talking down about.
Valjean: *snicker* Psycho stalker, you should enjoy that role.
Javert: *eyelid twitches*
Bramble: *throws a mask and a black costume at Javert* Dressing rooms are that way, go change.
Javert: I can’t seduce a 16-year-old girl!!
Bramble: I’m incorporating some of the book in here. Erik was in his fifties in the book and Christine was in her twenties.
Javert: So now you’re implying that I’m old?
Bramble: You’re 52! Gimme a break!
Javert: I’m not a senior citizen yet.
Bramble: Sure, you’ve got *counts on fingers* 13 years to go. If you ever age, anyway.
Javert: What about the seducing part?
Bramble: *facepalm* Just--just--go change.
Javert: *leaves looking decidedly irritated*
Bramble: *cheerfully* Okay, who’s next? Eponine, you’re Christine.
Eponine: I don’t wanna be a poofy-haired airhead!
Eponine: No offense, Marius. Why can’t I be Meg?
Bramble: Because that is Cosette’s role.
Cosette: But I wanna be Christine…
Bramble: Also Enjolras is Raoul.
Enjolras: *slumps back in chair*
Bramble: Okay, quickly everyone. Fantine, you’re Madame Giry (another reason to keep you as Meg, Cosette); Marius is Firmin; Valjean is Andre; Azelma is Carlotta--
Azelma: *makes face* Ugh, the screecher?
Bramble: Be glad you’re getting a significant role. Montparnesse is Piangi--
Montparnesse: I refuse to be a fat tenor!
Bramble: You’ll just have to be a thin tenor I guess.
Montparnesse: Har har. I’m not doing it.
Bramble: Oh yes you are.
Montparnesse: Hey, that’s cheating! *glowers*
Bramble: That’s perfectly legal.
Javert: *comes back with mask and black clothes on* *said clothes are far too small*
What did this guy eat, air??
Bramble: No, he’s just exceptionally thin, and called the Living Corpse.
Javert: *button pops off as he takes a breath* Oh joy.
Bramble: *slaps forehead* *throws a duplicate set of clothes that are larger* Here, use these. And you’re going to have to do something about those sideburns.
Javert: How about get a different mask?
Bramble: It wouldn’t be Phantom of the Opera if you didn’t have the half-mask!
Javert: I’m not getting rid of my sideburns, if that’s what you want.
Bramble: *horrified* Good grief, NO! You’d look creepy and just plain wrong without your sideburns! Just…go change, we’ll deal with this later.
Javert: *does so*
Bramble: Okay, where was I?
Montparnesse: I’m still not playing Piangi.
Bramble: DEAL WITH IT! I think that’s all the main characters so far…
Gavroche: What about me??
Bramble: You’ll be the young Erik. Don’t worry, it’s a great part.
Patron-Minette and the Amis: What about us?
Bramble: You ALL will have parts. *evil grin*
Combeferre: Somehow I don’t like the sounds of that…
Bramble: The play starts with an auction…
Grantaire: *stumbles over to the podium and starts jabbering*
Bramble: Keep to the script, R!
Grantaire: Well, excuse me. *starts anew* Lot 663 then, ladies and gentlemen, a poster for this house’s production of ‘Hannibal’ by Chalumeau…Your number sir? Thank you. Lot 665, ladies and gentlemen, a papier-mâché music box in the shape of a barrel organ. Attached, the figure of a monkey, in Persian robes playing the cymbals. This item discovered in the vaults of the theater; still in working order ladies and gentlemen.
Jehan: *holds up music box* Showing here. *music box begins playing*
Enjolras: *offstage* No! I won’t do it!
Bramble: *also offstage* It’s just for one scene you nitwit!
*Enjolras is shoved onstage in a wheelchair and dressed up as an old man*
Amis: *valiantly try to squelch laughter*
Enjolras: *glowers* Don’t you say a word.
Bramble: The scene, if you would?
Enjolras: *sighs resignedly* *outbids Fantine (as Madame Giry) and holds music box*
Enjolras: A collector’s piece, indeed
Every detail exactly as she said What??
Will you still play when all the rest of us are dead? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean??
Bramble: You’re not supposed to know yet. Grantaire, if you would…?
Grantaire: Lot 666 then, a chandelier in pieces. Some of you may recall the strange affair of the Phantom of the Opera; a mystery never fully explained. We’re told, ladies and gentlemen, that this is the very chandelier which figures in the famous disaster…Perhaps we can frighten away the ghost of so many years ago with a little illumination. Gentlemen?
Amis: *pull cloth off of chandelier* *Overture starts blasting out as it raises*
Enjolras: *stands and shakes off old-man-garb* Whew, it’s good to get that off.
Bramble: Scene-shifters! *walks backstage*
Javert: *dressed in now-fitting-clothes* My character isn’t even introduced for over forty minutes. Why do I have to be dressed this way for forty minutes?
Bramble: Because. Here, have some coffee. *shoves steaming cup towards him*
Javert: *sips coffee* The only good thing about this is the coffee. *smells steam appreciatively*
Bramble: That’s nice to hear, I guess. *wanders back onstage* All right, places everyone!
Patron-Minette, Amis, Paris women: *line up raggedly dressed in the Hannibal costumes*
Enjolras: Oh my Lord…*covers eyes*
Grantaire: *bursts out laughing*
Courfeyrac: *looking embarrassed* Shut up!
Bramble: Just take your places. Azelma, you’re up.
Azelma: *walks onstage in a dress that is far too long and ridiculously gaudy* I feel like a fool…*trips on dress hem*
Bramble: *chants softly* Don’t say it don’t say it don’t say it…
Feuilly: What are you doing?
Bramble: Er, nothing. Azelma, go ahead.
Azelma: *opens mouth* These TROphies from our SAVIORS FROM our SAAAAAAAAAAAviors
FROM the enSLAving FOOrce o-hof ROOOOOOOME!!
Courfeyrac: How did she not get a part in the musical???
Azelma: *hides a recorder with Carlotta’s lines on them behind her back* Gee, I don’t know.
Bramble: Ah, people don’t know good singing when they hear it I guess. *shudder* Although that was a little on the shrill side.
Valjean: *rushes in* Who died?? Surely it must have been a painful, excruciating death--
Bramble: Just Carlotta’s lines. She’s a bit of a shrieker.
Bramble: Anyway…back to the show people.
*The Patron-Minette, Amis, and Paris women do a passable rendition of the beginning part of Hannibal*
Montparnesse: *with much teeth-gritting and threats* I hope you’re satisfied…
Bramble: *rubs temples* Just do the part already.
Montparnesse: Sad to return to find the la-and we love
Threatened once more by Rome’s far-reaching grasp
Bramble: Wait, cut. You’re supposed to be Italian here, ’Parnesse. Over-act, be bold!
Montparnesse: Sad to return--
Bramble: Come on! You can do better!
Montparnesse: FINE! Sad to return to FIIIIND the la-AND we loOVE
THREATened once MO-ore by Roma’s far-REACHing grasp!
Bramble: Good, perfect! Now, capital R, it’s your turn again.
Enjolras: Why is he the conductor anyway? He couldn’t keep time if it kept the beat on his own head!
Joly: Wow, that’s a pretty good glare.
Bramble: *grins, thusly breaking the effect* Thank you, I’ve been taking lessons from an expert.
Enjolras: I most certainly have not been giving you lessons!
Bramble: *facepalm* Take a joke, Enjolras, take a joke. Actually I get quite a bit of inspiration from Javert as well.
Javert: *offstage* I heard that!
Bramble: I don’t care!
Javert: *comes onstage in his normal clothes*
Bramble: I told you not to change!
Javert: I don’t come in for a long time anyway. It won’t matter.
Bramble: *rummages in backpack* Aspirin…
Courfeyrac: Wow, and we aren’t even past the first scene yet. That has to be a new record.
Bramble: *pops some aspirin and glowers* So glad to be a record-breaker. Now can we PLEASE get on with the scene?
Grantaire: *stands up at conductor’s podium* Gentlemen, gentlemen, please--
Thenardier (as Lefevre): As you can see rehearsals are underway for a new productions of Chalumeau’s ‘Hannibal’--
Grantaire (as Reyer): M’sieur Lefevre, I am rehearsing!
Thenardier (as Lefevre): Messieur Reyer, Madame Giry, if I could have all of your attention, thank you…And I can now introduce you to the two gentlemen who now own the Opera Populaire: Monsieur Richard Firmin and Monsieur Gilles Andre.
Everyone: *claps politely*…
Marius: Why do I have to be a manager? Why can’t I be Erik?
Cosette: *turning dangerous* So you can seduce Eponine over there?
Marius: No, that’s not it at all honeybear--
Cosette: Then what is it?
Marius: The managers are old! I’m not old!
Bramble: Listen, you’re over two hundred years old anyway--
Valjean: Then why aren’t we moldering in our graves?
Bramble: Because that’s how fan fiction works. Not to mention the managers have some funny parts. You’ll like it, Marius.
Marius: *sighs resignedly* And we’re deeply honored to introduce our new patron: the Vicomte de Chagny.
Everyone: *claps politely again*
Enjolras: *comes onstage wearing a Raoul costume and with his hair down*
Eponine: *dressed in a skimpy ballerina costume* Gah, why do I have to be the lovesick puppy? Cosette does a much better job at that sort of thing.
Cosette: *comes over bundled in a robe* Why thank you, Eponine, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.
Eponine: *to herself* That wasn’t exactly a compliment…
Bramble: Wait, wait. Cosette, what are you dressed in?
Cosette: *blushes furiously* I’m not going to dance in that--that--
Eponine: Belly-dancer costume?
Cosette: Yes! *blushes even harder*
Bramble: *rubs forehead* Fine, fine. Just…try not to trip over your robe hem. Eponine, if you would?
Eponine: *growls but goes ahead with part* *makes dreadful faces all the while* It’s Raoul! What a wimpy name… Before my father died, at the house by the sea…*adopting melodramatic stance* Oh, what memories! I guess you could say we were childhood sweethearts. *gags* He called me Little Lotte.
Cosette (as Meg): Oh Christine, he’s so handsome! He’s nothing compared to Marius…
Enjolras (as Raoul): My parents and I are honored to support all the arts, especially the well-renowned Opera Populaire…*after meeting Azelma (as Carlotta) and Montparnesse (as Piangi)* An honor Signor. I believe I’m keeping you from your rehearsals--I will be here this evening to share in your great triumph. My apologies, monsieur.
Grantaire (as Reyer): Thank you, M. le Vicomte. Once more if you please?
Azelma (as Carlotta): ’e love-a me. Love-a me, love-a me, love-a me…
Eponine (as Christine): *is brushed aside by Enjolras (as Raoul); turns sadly to Cosette (as Meg)* He wouldn’t recognize me.
Cosette (as Meg): He didn’t see you. Although how he could miss that costume--
Fantine (as Mdme. Giry): If you please, gentlemen…*after talking about Christine* Gentlemen, if you would please step off to one side?
Patron-Minette and Amis: *finish Hannibal*
Bramble: Thank goodness!
Azelma: *reading script* Do I HAVE to throw a temper tantrum?
Bramble: Yes, because you look quite funny throwing a tantrum. *calls offstage* Javert!
Bramble: You have a part coming up! Get changed!
Javert: I’ve been thinking--
Valjean: Always a dangerous pastime.
Bramble: This is NOT Beauty and the Beast, Valjean.
Valjean: It might as well be.
Bramble: I am well aware of the parallels between Beauty and the Beast and Phantom of the Opera--
Javert: AS I SAID, I’ve been thinking. This is totally stupid and I can’t be expected to do this part. End of case.
Bramble: *sugary-sweet* Javert, would you come over here for a moment? *drags him off to the side*
Valjean: *watches with interest as Bramble and Javert have a brief heated discussion*
Enjolras: *wanders over whilst pulling hair back into a ponytail* He thinks he has it bad. He doesn’t even have to kiss someone until the end of the play. *shudders*
Bramble: *stomps back with Javert; both look miffed*
Javert: And don’t forget that last bit--
Bramble: As long as you don’t forget your end of the bargain.
Javert: Don’t worry. *glares as Bramble as she stomps off*
Enjolras: The verdict?
Javert: *runs hand across his face* I promised to play the stupid role if she would feed us better.
Enjolras: What?? Food?? Is that all you can think of?!
Javert: There was also something about better sleeping arrangements as well. *shrugs* I did the best I could.
Enjolras: All you could ask for…and you chose food and sleep!! Gah! *rakes fingers through hair*
Javert: You’re welcome to try to reason with her.
Enjolras: Eh, no thanks.
Bramble: Javert! Change!
Javert: *mutters* Yes, your majesty.
Bramble: Azelma, you’re up.
Azelma: *assumes her best irritated-Italian-prima-donna expression* Daae! All they want-a is the dancing!
Marius (as Firmin): The Vicomte is very excited by tonight’s gala…
Azelma (as Carlotta): Ah yes, I know it I know it I know it. I ’ope ’e is as excited by dancing girls as your new managers, because I will not be singing!…M’sieur Reyer?
Grantaire (as Reyer): *with a devilish smirk* If my diva commands. I don’t take orders from that little squirt--
Azelma (as Carlotta): Yes, I do! Everybody very quiet! Etc.
Valjean (as Andre): Monsieur Lefevre, why exactly are you retiring?
Thenardier (as Lefevre): My health.
Valjean (as Andre): I see…
Azelma (as Carlotta: You as well! *sprays throat* Gack, this stuff is horrible.
Grantaire (as Reyer): Signora?
Azelma (as Carlotta): Maestro. *preens as the background piano starts playing*
Think of meeee, think of me FONDly when we’ve said GOOooood-bye
Remember me, once in a WHILE
Please promise me YOU’LL try
When you find that once again you long
To take your heart back and--
*a shadowy figure unties a rope and lets a backdrop fall right behind Azelma (as Carlotta), who shrieks as the backdrop knocks her down*
Javert: *mimics the PotO overture* Dun da dun dadundadunDUN!!
Courfeyrac: Ooh, I’m so frightened.
Javert: *leaning over banister* I’ll have you know I’m a chief police inspector--
Courfeyrac: sticks tongue out*
Bramble: You can pummel him later! Just finish your part!
Javert (as Erik): *ducks away*
Grantaire (as Reyer): Oh my God! Signora!
Azelma (as Carlotta: I hate you! *pounds floor, etc*
Cosette (as Meg): He’s here, the Phantom of the Opera!…[skip to end of scene]
Marius (as Firmin): A full house, Andre! We will have to refund a full house!
Fantine (as Mdme. Giry): Christine Daaé could sing it, sir.
Valjean (as Andre): A chorus girl? Don’t be silly.
Fantine (as Mdme. Giry): She has been taking lessons from a great teacher.
Valjean (as Andre): Who?
Eponine (as Christine): *apologetically* I don’t know his name, monsieur. Whoa, wait, gimme a break! She doesn’t know his name and she’s been taking lessons from him for years? How unrealistic could you get?
Bramble: *snarl* It’s just a play.
Eponine: Pretty stupid play…
Bramble: *through gritted teeth* Suspend disbelief and just do the scene!
Eponine: *rolls eyes extravagantly*
Fantine: *glances back and forth, and decides to bravely plow through*
Fantine (as Mdme. Giry): Let her sing for you messieur. She has been well taught.
Valjean and Marius (as the managers): *exchange glances, allow her to come onstage*
Marius (as Firmin): Andre, this is doing nothing for my nerves.
Valjean (as Andre): Oh, she’s very pretty…
Eponine (as Christine): Think of me, think of me fondly when we’ve said goodbye
Remember me, once in a while
Please promise me you’ll try…
Everyone: *quietly withdraws from Eponine (as Christine) who continues singing*
Eponine (as Christine): …If you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me
Paris women (as backstage helpers): *as the music crescendos Eponine (as Christine) is quickly dressed in Azelma (as Carlotta)’s costume**she finishes the song without any further interferences*
Grantaire: Can we have a break?
Bramble: How about some coffee? *hands him a thermos*
Grantaire: *pouts, but drinks the coffee*
Enjolras: How much more before the first act is over?
Bramble: Are you joking? This is only, like, the second scene!
Enjolras: No need to get huffy--
Bramble: If you guys would cooperate this would go much faster.
Enjolras: Just--forget I said anything.
Azelma: *comes onstage in different clothes that look quite uncomfortable* What’s with the stupid costumes? Why is this character so--so--
Bramble: Over the top?
Bramble: Because she is. Now, places everyone…
Grantaire: We want a break! We want a break! We want a break!
Bramble: Grantaire, I am THIS CLOSE to revoking your coffee rights!!
Grantaire: *shuts up*
Bramble: Thank you.
Eponine: Does this mean I get a new costume?
Bramble: Not for another two scenes, sorry.
Eponine (as Christine) kneels in a small cathedral and folds her hands as if to pray. Suddenly a voice softly calls from above…
Javert (as Erik): Brava, brava, bravisimma…
Cosette (as Meg): Christine, Christine… Hey, I just noticed, Christine and Eponine rhyme! *goofy grin*
Enjolras: That’s nice…I think…
Javert (as Erik): Christine… Hey, if the guy wanted to congratulate her after her performance, you’d think he’d expound a bit more than that…
Cosette (as Meg): Where in the world have you been hiding? It’s actually rather obvious…
Really, you were perfect! Sure, by Grantaire’s standards
I only wish I knew your secret I can live without it, thank you
Who is your great tutor? Like I want to know…
Eponine (as Christine): Father once spoke of an angel I don’t remember Dad ever talking about angels…
I used to dream he’d appear If some angel appeared to me I’d be suspicious of a practical joke.
Now as I sing I can hear him Can we say schizophrenia?
And I know he’s here! As well as delusional…
Here in this room he calls me softly Still don’t hear it…
Somewhere inside, hiding Come out and face me, you psycho stalker!
Somehow I know he’s always with me That would be really creepy.
He, the unseen genius… Oh, first he’s hiding, now he’s invisible?
[skip to end of song]
Cosette (as Meg) and Eponine (as Christine): Angel of Music, hide no longer
Come to me, strange Angel Prepare to see your imminent doom!
Eponine (as Christine): He’s with me even now
Cosette (as Meg): Your hands are cold
Eponine (as Christine): All around me
Cosette (as Meg): Your face, Christine, it’s white
Eponine (as Christine): It frightens me
Cosette (as Meg): Don’t be frightened…
Bramble: What’s with the sarcastic comments sprinkled throughout??
Eponine: Listen, if you insist that we do a musical we have our rights!
Enjolras: I’m interested now.
Eponine: Namely, in order to keep our relative sanity, we must be allowed to be sarcastic.
Javert: This is a democracy, right? Put it to a vote!
Enjolras: Who votes to have the right to say snarky comments?
Everyone except Bramble: *raise hands*
Enjolras: Any against?
Bramble: I object!
Javert: How are you going to keep us from saying them?
Bramble: I thought you were for a monarchy, Javert!
Javert: I converted.
Bramble: I could cry…
Bahorel: We are impervious to a woman’s tears!
Bramble: *tries to cry* I CAN’T CRY!!!
Enjolras: So there. Vote passed, 35 to 1.
Jehan: Wow, there’s 35 of us?
Combeferre: Well, if you count us, Patron Minette, and the Paris women it adds up to 35. Or thereabouts.
Bramble: *throws hands up in defeat* Fine, have it your way.
Feuilly: Did we actually…?
Courfeyrac: Win an argument against an authoress??
Grantaire: *makes a tally-mark in a notebook* That definitely has to be a first.
Bramble: Okay, okay, no need to rub it in my face.
Courfeyrac: No, this calls for a celebration!
Grantaire: We want a break!
Bramble: Oh, not that again!
Grantaire: We want a break!
Bramble: We have to get at least past Raoul’s first scene!
Enjolras: Which is a fantastic reason to take a break now.
Bramble: Listen, after your first scene as Raoul, the story starts seriously picking up. I promise! Just one more scene, fellows!
Combeferre: I guess we can do one more scene…
**Two minutes later**
Fantine (as Madame Giry): *herds Eponine (as Christine) into her dressing room, fighting off enthusiastic admirers the whole way* No! No! *locks door, turns to Eponine (as Christine) with a smile* You did very well, my dear. He is pleased with you. *hands her a rose with a black ribbon tied around the stem*
Eponine (as Christine): *fingers the ribbon curiously* You know, if someone sent me something like that I would be rather creeped out…
Bramble: Suspend disbelief!
*outside the dressing room*
Marius (as Firmin): Ah, viscount!
Valjean (as Andre): Viscount!
Marius (as Firmin): I think we made quite a discovery with Miss Daaé!
Valjean (as Andre): Perhaps we could present her to you, dear viscount?
Enjolras (as Raoul): Gentlemen, if you wouldn’t mind, this is one visit I should prefer to make unaccompanied.
Grantaire: And we are absolutely positive that you have entirely honorable intentions--
Enjolras: Gah!! *buries face in hands*
Bramble: Grantaire, don’t tease Enjy.
Grantaire: But it’s fun…
Enjolras: To some, perhaps. To me, it isn’t. *plunges ahead with scene*
Enjolras (as Raoul): *fairly rips the bouquet from Valjean’s hands* Thank you. *goes into Christine’s room*
Marius (as Firmin): It would appear they’d met before…
Valjean (as Andre): Yes!
*inside Christine’s dressing room. Enjolras (as Raoul) enters quietly and walks up to Eponine (as Christine).*
Enjolras (as Raoul): Little Lotte let her mind wander. Little Lotte thought, ‘Am I fonder of dolls, or of goblins, or shoes?’ This guy is a complete idiot. Is that how you’re supposed to talk to a girl?
Eponine (as Christine): Raoul! I agree, both of these characters are ninnies.
Enjolras (as Raoul): ‘Or of riddles, or frocks?’ I’m glad we agree on something.
Eponine (as Christine): Those picnics in the attic… I don’t think we agree on everything.
Enjolras (as Raoul): ‘Or of chocolates?’ Really? And what, pray?
Eponine (as Christine): Father playing the violin… I dunno, there must be something we don’t agree on.
Enjolras (as Raoul): As we read to each other dark stories of the north… I think Pontmercy over there it a nitwit.
Eponine (as Christine): No. ‘What I love best,’ Lotte said, ‘is when I’m asleep in my bed. *sings* And the angel of music sings songs in my head-- You leave M’sieur Marius alone!
Enjolras (as Raoul): *joins her* And the angel of music sings songs in my head…
You sang like an angel tonight. And what if I don’t?
Eponine: That does it--*winds up to punch Enjolras*
Bramble: Javert, sic ‘em!
Javert: I find this rather amusing.
Bramble: Grr…okay, both of you, stop fighting. Just get through the scene.
Eponine (as Christine): Father said, ‘When I am in heaven, child, I will send the Angel of Music to you.’ Well, Father is dead, Raoul. And I have been visited by the Angel of Music. I say, does this girl have issues or what?
Enjolras (as Raoul): Oh, no doubt of it! Heh. Another unflattering trait: agreeing with sanity problems! And now, we go to supper. *prepares to leave* This guy is rather unchivalrous, ordering an acquaintance to go to dinner with him.
Eponine (as Christine): No, Raoul. The Angel of Music is very strict. What, he’s not just music teacher, lurker, and all-around Angel, he’s a chaperone too? What doesn’t he do?
Enjolras (as Raoul): Well, I shan’t keep you up late. *laughs* Ooh, I’m so mean and demanding.
Eponine (as Christine): No, Raoul. I actually stand up for myself? I might faint from the shock.
Enjolras (as Raoul): You must change! I’ll order my carriage. Two minutes, ‘Little Lotte.’ Yikes, look who needs a lesson in manners!
Eponine (as Christine): No, Raoul, wait! And I thought I was going to stand up for myself…I’m sad now…my character is such a wimp…*wipes away fake tears*
Enjolras (as Raoul): *leaves*
Javert: Finally, the end of a scene…
Grantaire: Break time? *looks hopeful*
Bramble: I’m going to crack now--yes, you can have a break--
Bahorel: WAHOO!!! *races off like a madman*
Javert: *reads over script* At least I get a pretty cool song coming up.
Bramble: Correction, a VERY cool song.
Grantaire: *somehow finds a bottle of wine and starts chugging it down*
Enjolras: Can’t you keep away from alcohol for any amount of time, wine cask?
Grantaire: Don’t call names, it hurts my feelings.
Feuilly: Got any more?
Grantaire: Yeah, there’s a glass over there.
Bramble: Listen guys, you’ve got ten minutes, don’t waste--GRANTAIRE!!! How the heck did you get a bottle of wine???
Grantaire: *hic* I dunno. It was in the fridge.
Javert: A minor, harboring alcohol? Tsk, tsk.
Bramble: I don’t drink it, I hate the stuff!
Javert: Then what was it doing in the fridge?
Bramble: I have no idea, but it's not mine.
Javert: Likely story.
Feuilly: Must you torment the authoress? *sips from his glass of wine*
Bramble: Gimme that, Grantaire--*lunges for wine bottle*
Grantaire: Let’s see if you can reach it first…
Bramble: GRR!!! *scrabbles for wine bottle, which is held out of her reach*
Javert: *plucks bottle from Grantaire* Give me that, there’s no way I’m giving any of you any wine at all.
Grantaire: I need my wine!!
Javert: No you don’t. I think you need some jail time. *chucks wine bottle off to the side; it shatters*
Valjean: Now, now, children--
Courfeyrac: We’re hardly children!
Valjean: Coulda fooled me.
Bramble: You’re gonna have to clean that up you know.
Javert: As long as it keeps the drunkenness to a minimum…*cleans up the mess*
Grantaire: My wine…
Bramble: Have some coffee!! *shoves a cup at him*
Grantaire: *stares at cup* Oh, what a cruel fate where I have to replace wine with coffee…
Valjean: I’ll take a cup while you’re at it.
Courfeyrac: Coffee break!!
Jehan: I like tea…
Bahorel: You would, you wimp.
Bramble: What did Grantaire say about name-calling??
Bahorel: Yeah, like he’s going to dictate how I treat people.
Javert: There’s always a hope.
Bahorel: Would you let a drunkard dictate your actions??
Javert: Of course not!
Bahorel: Then how do you expect--
Bramble: People, please. You’re wasting your break. *rubs head*
Javert: Believe it or not, she’s right.
Courfeyrac: Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee…*twitches repeatedly*
Bramble: Okay, enough coffee for you…
Valjean: *sips his coffee* I think he drank too much…
Javert: No duh.
Valjean: No need to be rude about it.
Javert: So you say.
Valjean: Listen, just because I have moral standards--
Javert: So do I, convict!
Valjean: Argh! Steal one loaf of bread--
Javert: Not to mention escape from prison numerous times and break your parole--
Valjean: And you’re branded for life!
Javert: You had it coming.
Valjean: Oh, just come off it. You’re just jealous because you’re portrayed as a bad guy in the musical.
Javert: I am not! Anyway, I have the really cool songs, what do YOU say to that?
Valjean: I say that there’s no point in continuing this conversation.
Javert: Oh, right, just walk away without a fight! Wimp.
Bramble: At least somebody has a maturity level above a five-year-old…unlike SOME people I could mention. *looks pointedly at Javert*
Javert: *sticks tongue out*
Bramble: Thereby proving my point…
Javert: If you weren’t a girl--
Bramble: Okay, break is over everyone! Back to your positions!
Everyone: *groans, but complies*
On to Part 2!
Ugh, you're weird, take me home.
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